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An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."
But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.
"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."
"Then why did you bring an axe?"
"Because I didn't want to pay."
Christmas shopping
A judge asks the culprit:
- Please explain me, what are you being prosecuted for?
- I was doing my Christmas shopping too early, - replied the defendant
- But that’s not a crime, - says the judge quite surprised. – How early were you doing your Christmas shopping?
- Before the store opened…
- Please explain me, what are you being prosecuted for?
- I was doing my Christmas shopping too early, - replied the defendant
- But that’s not a crime, - says the judge quite surprised. – How early were you doing your Christmas shopping?
- Before the store opened…
A mother thinks there’s something strange going on and eventually decides to take a DNA test.
She finds out that their child is actually not related to her or her husband at all.
Wife: "Darling, there’s something really important that we need to talk about. I did a DNA test and Roger isn't our biological child."
Husband: "Of course he isn’t, don’t you remember? We were just leaving the hospital and the baby pooped hugely so you told me, ‘Go and change the baby, I’ll wait here.’”
What A Girl Wants For Christmas
The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'-----------------------------------
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" SEE YA MY FRIENDS "
Cruisin Paul
Go change the baby. Good grief. Fun Christmas funnies.
ReplyDeleteLooks like you're very busy getting food ready for Christmas.
Have a fabulous day and week, Paul. 🎄🎄🎄
Yes Sandee, I'm trying to get things ready for the big day and it's not going on my cruise.LOL
DeleteHeeheehee! Change the baby indeed. And a son-in-law, that sounds out of Santa's league.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your Christmas preparations!
I hope that you are preparing for Christmas also.
Deletewe need to "lie" sometimes...hehehe...lol
ReplyDeletehave a great day
I never lie. Oops, that was a lie. See ya Tamza.
DeleteClever! I enjoyed your blog. From Straight up- No Chaser blog. I'll be back.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by. Glad that you enjoyed it. See ya.
DeleteCruisin Paul
Very funny,Merry Christmas <3
ReplyDeleteThank you for spending some of your time to read my blog. Have a very Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year.
DeleteHi Paul, that was a quick answer you gave your wife. To all expecting mothers out there, safer not to ask your husband to change your baby! Heheheee...
ReplyDeleteYou know Nancy, when we had our babies, I had no problem changing them and they were our own kids. LOL
DeleteYou been very busy Pauleo I wished I had the enthusiasm ffor cooking that you do LOL
ReplyDeleteI loved the jokes I hope you don't drop your balls when your playing golf that could hinder your game you know :-)
Time seems to go so quick don't it Pauleo it was only a year ago since the last Christmas ;-)
Have a tinseltastic Sunday and stop lying LOL
Time seems to go so quick don't it Pauleo it was only a year ago since the last Christmas ;- Guess what my friend? Christmas will be there next year also. WOW! LOL Have a great day my friend.
Delete