Tuesday, December 4, 2018

Tuesday, Still No Sunshine.

Good afternoon my friends. This afternoon I was able to get my massage and yes my back is much better. My ribs are just about back to normal. I have been told by family that I will no longer be able to discuss anything about them and therefore that means no more photos. Oh well, I guess I'm just going to write about ME.


I really love this photo that I took out once on my cruise from Carnival Breeze.

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A minister was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "I guess." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher asked. "She can drive at night," the old man said


Not long after the marriage, Tom and his father met for lunch. "Well son," asked the dad, "how is married life treating you?"
"Not very well, I'm afraid. It seems that I married a nun."
"A nun??" his father exclaimed.
"That's right. None in the morning, none at night and none unless I beg."
The father nodded knowingly, and patted his son on the back. "Why don't we all get together for a nice talk tonight?"
Toms face brightened. "Say Dad, that's a great idea."
"Fine. I'll call and tell Mother Superior to set two extra plates."




A young lady visited the government matchmaker for marriage and requested - "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"
The marriage officer said, "You're requirements please."
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The officer listened carefully and replied," I understand. You need a television."



"Will I Live To 80?"

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him," Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" "No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you want to live to 80."







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                         " SEE YA MY FRIENDS "


Cruisin Paul
 

11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you Peg. The first one even impressed myself. LOL

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  2. Your jokes and photos of your cruises are plenty, i enjoy them!

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    Replies
    1. I'm thankful that you enjoy my photos & jokes Mimi.

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  3. Massages are great for my back too. This "old" stuff is a pain in my back.

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    Replies
    1. Massages make me feel so young, just for awhile. LOL

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  4. Lovely sunset scene at sea. The government matchmaker and television joke makes me laugh!

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    Replies
    1. That sunset was more beautiful while I was there.Looking out on the deck was fantastic.

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  5. Glad to hear your massage went well andd your feeling much better Pauleo :-)

    No sunshine here this morning either it is very dark and absolutely bucketing down with rain nothing new here then for London heheh!

    The oldie jokes were funny Pauleo LOL @ exxtend the warranty :-)

    Have a massagetastic day :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thanks my friend. It's very cold around here. Some time with snow but not heavy. I'm just waiting for my cruise Steveo.

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  6. no shine, but photo looks so beautiful.
    thank you for sharing funny cartoons.
    have a great day

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Thanks for commenting!