Mr. Cruiser's Notes: Very Cold Tuesday

Good morning my blogger friends. Yesterday was Canada's Thankgiving. I spent time setting up and cooking our turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, stuffing, broccli and garlic bread. It went well and everyone was stuffed to the gills.

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Q. How do you make Holy Water?

A. Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.

Q. How long did Cain hate his brother?
A. As long as he was Abel.

Q. Why did God create man before woman?
A. Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks, "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. My eyesight isn't what it used to be. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your Mother likes. The chicken was delicious!"

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?" Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!" The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident. The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth." Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story... After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!"

Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?" Wife: "That's your job." Hasband: "Says who?" Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page." Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee." Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, hebrews."