Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Cold, Windy, Rainy Wednesday

Good morning everyone. On Monday I went to have the stitches on my toe taken out. He nurse said that everything is A  - OK. Now I go on Friday to see the doctor. 
Halloween should be wild on Thursday night. It's suppose to have rain with crazy winds and later change into SNOW. Trick or treat everyone.


A nice respectable lady with a savory smell of perfume got on the bus and took a seat beside me. After some moments I dared to ask her: "Excuse me lady do you mind me please to ask you what is the name of this perfume and where did you buy it from? I want to buy one for my wife." The lady responded: "It is Chanel and from Paris." After about ten minutes later I felt a strong wind in my belly so I slowly blew it out. Some seconds later she broke and said: "Offf... what is this smell my God"? I said: "Gar lic and from Gilroy city in California."

I was invited to a party. Suddenly I farted when an angry man shouted: "Why do you fart in presence of my wife?" I only gazed him for some moments and calmly told him:"Sorry I didn't know it was her turn."

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him. The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. (Whew! Got away with that one!). Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!" The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week." The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."


Have A Great Day Friends.

Cruisin Paul


  1. Looks like your weather and treat or treat isn't going to get along well. That will keep the visitors down to a few. We're going to the boat tomorrow and miss it altogether.

    Love all the gas jokes. The pantyhose one made me laugh out loud.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul. 😎

  2. Your jokes blew me away.

    Happy Halloween!

  3. Funny intestines blowing kisses jokes, ha ha ha! Research says that older people tend to pass out gas more often.

  4. Glad your toe is ok Pauleo hope your Doctor's appointment goes ok.

    I do like good fart jokes Pauleo these were funny in fact I just bumburped myself ...oooh!

    Have a farttastic Halloween :-)

  5. Glad your toe is A-ok.
    Our weather here is similar. 76 degrees, rain and heavy winds up to 60mph. The rain is all day but the storm coming is from 5-11p. Poor trick or treaters. Then tomorrow we'll get winter. (no snow but very cold)

    1. Well Peg, it's in the 40's and later tonight gues what? Snow


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