Good morning friends. The home is decorated for Christmas. The tree is up and decorated, the fireplace mantle is finished and the entire house is covered with Christmas things. I'm feeling better except for this Covid threat. Usually at this time I'm preparing for my cruise. Not this year. It has been cancelled. Oh well.
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Santa comes down a chimney one Christmas Eve and to his surprise finds a gorgeous brunette waiting for him, wearing the sexiest lingerie imaginable.
“Santa,” she purrs, “Can you stay for a while?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to deliver toys to children, you know!”
She comes close, starts playing with his beard, whispers in his ear, “Santa, don’t you have a gift you would like to give me?”
Santa says, “Ho, ho, ho! I’ve gotta go! Have to spread Christmas cheer, you know!”
The brunette takes off her straps, giving Santa a view of her breasts and says, “Santa, are you sure there’s no gift you’d like to leave?”
Santa says, “Hey hey hey, might as well stay. I can’t get up the chimney this way!”
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.
“Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”
Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “These are Carol’s.”
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Cruisin Paul
Perhaps since Canada starts vaccinating next week you'll get you shot and you can worry less
ReplyDeleteWe'll see Peg. Trump has said only true Americans go first. LOL
DeleteThanks for the funnies. May you have a blessed and beautiful Christmas and New Year!
ReplyDeleteKeep safe Mimi and try to have a wonderful & happy Christmas.
DeleteSanta....my eyes are up here....lol. Hope you still get to enjoy your family still at Christmas. Stay safe.
ReplyDeleteI knew Tim that you would enjoy that picture. Are you the Santa Claus? LOL Enjoy.
DeleteOur borders are still closed so probably Santa won't be able to visit us this year. It is going to be a wet Christmas because it is monsoon season now.
ReplyDeleteSanta always find away to get to the homes of the children. I always believe in Santa. Have a great weekend Nancy.
DeleteHaha I enjoyed those seasonal funnies, glad your settling in now and got all your Christmas decor up.
ReplyDeleteI never put my tree up too early as it tens to make me walk funny :shope:
Have a safetastic week Pauleo :-)
PS: I added you to my McLinkypops
I put everything up as soon as December 1st and keep more things up in the house. Ho,Ho,Ho. Merry Christmas.
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