I love The Rain.

Good morning everyone. I woke up to thunder & lightning and rain. My lawn really needed a drank. Yesterday Mary Lou had a Garage sale, well most of our area had this Garage Sale. Unfortunately after lunch we had a thunderstorm and that was ir for the Garage Sale. Four more days to see my doctor. Guess what? This pain on my right side hasn't gone away. Today Mary Lou is going to make bread and me, Properly reading my book and then later in the afternoon, watching golf.

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a Cucumber, a Pickle, and a Penis.

There is a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis. They are complaining about their lives. The cucumber says, “My life sucks. I’m put in salads, and to top it off, they put ranch on me as well. My life sucks.” The pickle says, “That’s nothing compared to my life. I’m put in vinegar and stored away. Boy my life boring. I hate life.” The penis says, “Why are you guys complaining? My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. They put me in a plastic bag, put me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up.”

 

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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.

'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'

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  What's worse than raining cats & dogs?

Hailing a taxi. 

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A man goes to confession

Man: Forgive me father for what I have sinned.


Father: What did you do my child?


Man: I went to my sister in law's home. Just when I was leaving, it started raining and I had to stay there. We slept together.


Father: Pray to god my son for he is merciful.


Man: The day after that, I went to see my mother in law. Just when I was leaving, it started raining and I had to stay there. We slept together.


Father: Pray to god my son for he is merciful.


Man: Yesterday, I went to see my brother in law. Just when I was leaving, it started raining and I had to stay there. We slept together.


Upon hearing that, Father looks out from the window and says:


The weather looks cloudy. Get the heck out of my confessional before it starts raining.

 

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A man was having an affair with a married woman.

The man had a romantic evening at her place and were about to have sex. Suddenly there is a knock at the door.

The woman tells the man “My husband is here. Collect your clothes and get out from the window.”

The man did not have time to get dressed and he is naked outside on the road and there is a light drizzle of rain.

At the meantime, there is a marathon going and it passes by the man. The man also starts running with those guys.

A runner beside him asks “Do you always run naked?”

Man replies “Yeah. I feel comfortable this way.”

Runner “Do you always wear a condom?”

Man “No. Only when its raining.”

 

 

 

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Cruisin Paul

                                          Cartagena, Colombia