Monday, January 14, 2019

Two days Before My Cruise

Good evening everyone. This will be my last blog until I return after the cruise. I hope that when I return, I'll have many wonderful photos telling you all about the cruise and the 5 ports I've been visiting. I'm just about packed. All the problems that I've experienced have been fixed and I'm looking forward to go. The only thing that worried about is when I get to the airport. I'm worried about the TSA situation. I've seen & heard about the problems in the other airports in the US. Say a prayer for me that things will be as normal as it can be. Until then Bon Voyage.






 

                       last but not least,

               See you all when I return. 

Cruisin Paul
                         Celebrity Reflection
                           the ship I'll be on.

 

Thursday, January 10, 2019

A Week Before The Cruise

Good morning good friends. Well it's a week before I leave for my cruise and I'm beginning to get worried. First, my cousin informed me that he could no longer pick us up due to him going for some tests. No problem I found this company that picks people up from the airport. Second Trump has a nit fit and wants his wall and closes the government where the TSA people are calling in sick. I may have long lines at airport. Third, the tram at the airport is not working until April. Usually my gate is at the end of the airport which means walking and it's a long place. Now I daughter told us that they felt bad but they could no longer take us to the hotel where we stay the night before. I told them don't feel bad, we'll figure another ride. I'll probably call the company that is picking us up. You know, I feel that maybe we weren't suppose to go on this cruise. I'll be there one way and another. Cruisin, cruisin, cruisin.

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An airplane was already virtually full and in danger of exceeding its baggage allowance when a last-minute passenger asked for the one remaining ticket. The clerk was unsure whether to give the passenger a ticket, so he asked him: “Do you mind me asking how much your weigh?” “With or without the clothes?” asked the passenger. “Well,” said the clerk, “how do you intend to travel?”


It was mealtime on a small budget airline. So the flight attendant asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” The passenger replied: “What are my choices?” The flight attendant answered: “Yes or no. All other options have been eliminated due to budget cuts.”



Air Trouble

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We're currently flying at an altitude of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port engines have fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and our flight attendant. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"


One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him "inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one." Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him... "what happened?" Mark asks shakily. "Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital." "Why do my privates hurt so bad?" Mark asked anxiously... John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover."


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                                  " See Ya "

Cruisin Paul
  

Thursday, January 3, 2019

" HAPPY NEW YEAR " Everyone On Thursday

Happy New Year to all of Family, Friends and Blogging Friends. Well we made it through another year and we've started the 2019. As of now I'm taking out my luggage preparing everything I will need for another wonderful cruise. 

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" Dear God, My prayer  for 2019 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. 
  Please don't mix it up like you did this year. "  
                                -------------------------------

" I wish you have a Sweetest Sunday,
Marvelous Monday
Tasty Tuesday
Wild Wednesday
Wonderful Thursday
Successful Saturday
Have a great year, hopefully!




New Year's Day for One & All

Dear Lord,
So far this year I've done well. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, nasty, selfich, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of my bed and from then on I'm going to need a lot more help from you Lord. Amen.











   



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" See Ya "

Cruisin Paul

 












Monday, December 31, 2018

2019

Good morning my friends. Well, the year is at end. I pray that you all have a wonderful 2019.





                        Happy New Year

                               to you all.

             ------------------------------------

Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou


Saturday, December 29, 2018

Amazing. It's Snowing Saturday

Time has past after Christmas. I hope that you all enjoyed your Christmas day, gifts, dinner and family. AmyLynn got what she wanted, Santa brought her a new TV.  I cooked two special dinners, Christmas and Emily's pasta & meatball dinner on her 13th birthday. Now we are leaving to see Mary Lou's brother Jim who had some serious time while in the hospital but now he's doing well and he wanted some family  to get together for dinner. So we are going.

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A Bad Dream?

Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she

confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's

present. What do you think it all means?' 'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package. 

Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.



John, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Dave, and asks for a smoke.
 
“I thought you made a New Year's resolution and that you don’t smoke,” Dave says.
 
“I'm in the process of quitting,” replies John with a grin. “I am in the middle of phase one.”
 
“Phase one?” asks David.
 
“Yeah,” laughs John, “I've quit buying.”





“Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to
 get married to my brother's mother-in-law. "Now I can't make up my mind whether he's my dad or

my father-in- law," says my brother, "or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my

child is my daughter or my niece.”





Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
 
It means, ‘Without Information Fighting Every time’
 
WIFE says: No, it means ‘With Idiot for Ever’
 
Happy New Year 2019



A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon 

drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm 

against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable 

potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. 

This is my position, and I will not compromise." 




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Cruisin Paul

 


Sunday, December 23, 2018

Merry Christmas

Well my friends, Christmas is here. 

To my friends, Rhonda, Peg, Nancy, Tanza, Sandee, Mimi, Bee, John, Jean and Steveo,
I wish you all a wonderful Merry Christmas. You all have made my blogging so much more then just writing a bunch of words in my computer. You all have made me feel loved. Thank you for that.

  


Cruisin Paul

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

A Warm Tuesday Evening

Good evening friends. I've been so busy these last few days between getting gifts, wrapping them, baking a Christmas Tree cake, making meatballs and making dinner everyday. I was planning to look for a final Christmas gift for my wife but when she noticed that there were five gifts already under the Christmas tree and asked whose gifts they were, I said they for her. She informed me that was fantastic but don't buy anything more. I said OK but sometimes I lie. LOL.





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An Axe to Grind

A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, "I don't
want to pay for it."

But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son's whining,
he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. "How did you cut it down so fast?" his son asks.

"I didn't cut it down," the father replies.
"I got it at a tree lot."

"Then why did you bring an axe?"

"Because I didn't want to pay."


  


Christmas shopping

A judge asks the culprit:
- Please explain me, what are you being prosecuted for?
- I was doing my Christmas shopping too early, - replied the defendant
- But that’s not a crime, - says the judge quite surprised.  – How early were you doing your Christmas shopping?
- Before the store opened…




A mother thinks there’s something strange going on and eventually decides to take a DNA test.

She finds out that their child is actually not related to her or her husband at all.

Wife: "Darling, there’s something really important that we need to talk about. I did a DNA test and Roger isn't our biological child."

Husband: "Of course he isn’t, don’t you remember? We were just leaving the hospital and the baby pooped hugely so you told me, ‘Go and change the baby, I’ll wait here.’”
 
 
 
 



What A Girl Wants For Christmas

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?' 'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly. 'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?' Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'








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                     " SEE YA MY FRIENDS "

Cruisin Paul