Sunday, March 10, 2024

Hi eveyone. I'm back after some time. I've been spending some time with the nurse practitioner. My doctor has gone on vacation for two weeks. Every time I call he's on vacation. I need a new doctor.  

She checked my foot. I was double the size of the other one. I had blood tests & urine tests       ( twice ) .She found I had a sickness in my urine, gave me pills and I'm feeling much better. She sent me to have ultra sound to check if I had a blood clot in my right leg. Everything is Ok but I havehigh cholesterol. Now I have to go and get some of those crazy socks. I just thick that my stroke is now checking on me after 47 years. Oh well, I'll do what she wants me to do.

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  What's the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior?

                         " Cremation "

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Old age makes us great multitaskers. 

Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time!

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Now that I've gotten older, everything's finally starting to click for me.

" My knees, my back, my neck........... 

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Where can single men over 65 find younger women who are interested in them.

In the bookstore under, " Fiction ". 

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 Cruisin Paul


 



 

 


Sunday, February 18, 2024

Finally, I'm back. It's been weird around here but hopefully things will be back to normal.

On Tuesday we'll be seeing my Uncle Ervin. He's in his new place. My uncle is 91 years old and he's still driving. Yes driving. He's a great guy.

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I was going to tell you a joke about boxing but I forgot the punch line.

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My uncle named his dogs, Timex & Rolex. They're his watch dogs. 

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What do you call a fake noodle? 

An Impasta. 

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How does an octopus go into battle? He's well - armed.

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Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake. 

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What do you call it when a snowman has a temper tantrum?

A meltdown. 

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Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?

Minnesota ( mini - soda ). 

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Cruisin Paul



 

 



 




                                      


                    

Saturday, January 27, 2024

         Good morning my friends. We are of the freeze time and it's now in the 38 to 40 degrees. The snow has gone. I went to see my eye doctor and she has sent me back to the eye specialist. I'm getting a little upset this business about cataracts. She tells me that usually there is no problems of getting cataracts but me, I'm having problems. 

Tomorrow will be one of the best footballs in our area. It will be Detroit against San Francisco. My team is the Detroit Lions. I hope my Lions will win and go to the Super Bowl in Las Vegas.

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What did the tree say after a long, cold winter? 

        " What a re - leaf " 

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What did the icy road say to the car?

        " Wanna go for a spin ?" 

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What's the weatherman's favorite food in winter?

              " Brrrrr itos " 

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Why shouldn't you upset a snowman?

" He'll have  meltdown. " 

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Why was the snowman looking in a bag of carrots?

" He was picking his nose. " 

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What do you say to a sad snowflake to cheer him up?

" Don't flurry, be happy. "

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Cruisin Paul


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Tuesday, January 16, 2024

Brrrrrr, it is very cold outside. Before Christmas, we were having temps between 45 - 50 degrees and it's been pretty good but suddenly in January we've been in a freeze zone with snow, wind, ice & below temperatures like

 - 10 temps. I went to see my grandson play hockey and it was colder outside the arena the inside where the ice was.

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  Why was the book freezing cold?

  " It lost its jacket ."

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I left my PC on all night and when I woke up, it was freezing.

" Turns out, I left the Windows open" get it, Windows.

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What do you call a hooker in below freezing weather?

" A Frostitute ". 

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I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain,

but it hurt like hail,

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It was freezing that day and I prayed for snow at my wedding.

" Never happened but I got 8 inches at my honeymoon."

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During this football game, the helmets were so frozen that when they hit the quarterback so hard his helmet broke apart.


 
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Cruisin Paul







                



!
 
 

Saturday, December 30, 2023


  2023 is coming to an end and 2024 is beginning. I hope that all my friends will enjoy a healthy, friendly &loving new year.

 

Cruisin Paul


 

Saturday, December 23, 2023

 

 


Well my friends, it's nearly Christmas Eve. I've had both of my eyes down and I'm feeling a little different. Maybe after the new year things can be back to normal. 

Enjoy Christmas Day with your love ones. See you soon.




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Cruisin Paul


 


Monday, December 11, 2023

Well this week, Wednesday at 9:30 I'll be having my left eye operated on. My right eye is good now. My entire home is finally finished decorated for Christmas. My wife went to Chatham and built a beautiful large snowflake with lights and it is now outside on the window. Beautiful.

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Cryptic Christmas Card


A man sent his friend a cryptic Christmas card. It said: A B C D E F G H I J
K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The recipient puzzled over it for weeks,
finally gave up and wrote asking for an explanation. In July he received the
explanation on a postcard:
" No L . "

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 As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped:  
"Didn't You Get My E-Mail?"

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No Room In The Inn?


A boy wanted to be Joseph in the Sunday School pageant. He was cast as the landlord and objected loudly, but to no avail. When the pageant was presented, Mary and Joseph knocked on the door and asked him if he had a room for them. The boy smiled and said, 
" Yes, Sure, Lots of room. Come on in!

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God's Not Deaf


Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers. The younger one began praying at the top of his lungs:

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."
"I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..."

His older brother leaned over, nudged him and said, "Why are you shouting? God isn't deaf." to which the little brother replied, " No, but Grandma is. "

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 Cruisin Paul