Sunday, September 27, 2015

Thoughtful Sunday

Good Sunday morning friends. I hope that your morning is wide awake like mine. It's amazing to think that every morning I get up and start the day with a coffee. I've tried not to have my coffee until lunch but it's impossible. If I don't have my java, I feel lousy. Do you feel the same way or am I just crazy? Last night our friends Al & Meilin finally came to visit us again. They had been away for some time because Al had his former boss & his wife visiting them and of good people, they brought around the area and even took them to Niagara Fall. Last night was the first time playing pool. I was a little rusty but I still enjoyed it. Today it's the so called end of golf. The one who win s will win 
$10 million dollars, That's what I said $ 10 million dollars just for hitting a little white ball into a round hole. I don't think it's crazy.

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Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.  She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.  When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.  His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.  "Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said. "As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"  Then he hung up and walked out of the room. In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.  Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."




A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea, let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

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                                                                   The shore of Tortola.
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                      Well that's it for Sunday. I hope that you'll have a beautiful day friends. 




                                                                              " SEE YA "


 

Friday, September 25, 2015

It's Friday Again

Hi there everyone. I've been watching the TV about the Pope. I'm Catholic but from what I'm seeing, non - Catholics are loving this wonderful man. This man, well there is something in him that makes me feel so good. I may always agree with the rules of the church but Pope Franciso  makes you understand even though you may not agree with some of the things he's saying. Watching him speaking to the politicians in the Congress makes me feel that together things can be helped but knowing that after these men & women listen for awhile, and after he left, really nothing will be the done. They will say the same things and do the same things and nothing will be done. Oh well, that's our life.
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Huh?

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Three Sisters

Three elderly sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, shared a house together. One evening, the 96 year old sister went upstairs to take a bath. As she put her foot into the tub, she paused. Then she yelled down to the other two sisters and asked, "Was I getting in the tub or out?"
"You dern fool," said the 94 year old. "I'll come up and see." When she got half way up the stairs she paused. "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92 year old sister was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of tea and thought, "I hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She shook her head and called out, "I'll be up to help you both as soon as I see who's at the door."



Card Buddies

Two elderly ladies had been friends since their 30s. Now in their 80s, they still got together a couple of times a week to play cards. One day they were playing gin rummy and one of them said, "You know, we’ve been friends for many years and, please don't get mad, but for the life of me, I can't remember your name. Please tell me what it is."
Her friend glared at her. She continued to glare and stare at her for at least three minutes. Finally, she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


Driving Skills

A woman in her 50s was driving with a friend. She went through a red light. The friend didn't say anything. But then she went through another one. The friend said, "Do you realize you just went through two red lights?"
"Oh," she said, "was I driving?"


Beats a Nursing Home!
The ultimate in truly luxurious retirement homes
There will be no nursing home in my future...
Nope... I'm going to live on a Cruise Ship year round! The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations, and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which I estimate at only $10 per day.
2. I will have as many meals a day as I want, as long as I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service. The best part is that they're good meals. None of that cardboard stuff I've seen my old friends eating. Breakfast in bed every day of the week, hmmmm.
3. Cruise ships have as many as three or four swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, a casino, movies and shows every night.
Room service every day
The ultimate in truly luxurious retirement homes
4. They often have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips should have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare.
If you fall and break a hip on the cruise ship they will likely upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And, the best for last!
10. I get to see Alaska, South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, etc., etc. Don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.
P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.

                                                       Would you like to sit down?

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                         I baked these goodies last year and they didn't stay very long.
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              That's it for today my good friends. Enjoy life each day that God gives you.



Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Satisfying Wednesday

Hi there friends. It's very foggy out this morning. The other evening when I was watching a new TV program suddenly at 10:45 the power went off. When that happens the place is in total darkness, can't even move because you might trip. Thank goodness my daughter AmyLynn went downstairs with a flashlight to see how I was doing. Without her, I might had to sleep in that chair the entire night. The power went on at 4:45am and of course that meant that my light and TV went on. Once again my wonderful daughter saved me because she went downstairs and turned them off. She is great at times. ( Ha,ha,ha, ) Sorry AmyLynn.  Tonight is the ending of Big Brother and I hope that Vanessa loses but probably she;ll win. The new shows are really great so far. 

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A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"  


The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

                                                                     " Thank You "

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
"For best results, put on two coats".

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."


BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida...?????"

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


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                                                  Amazing shot after leaving St. Thomas.
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    My daughter loves Tom Brady on the New England Patriots so I put on a full photo of him on her bedroom wall. It's large, very large.
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                           That's it for today. Have a very enjoyable Wednesday everyone.

                                                                            " SEE YA "




Monday, September 21, 2015

Rockin Monday

Good morning everyone. I've been out for about a week with internet problems but I'm back and raring to go. What did I do without my computer? Well I did a lot of work outside cleaning up my yard. You know it;s almost October and Halloween. Big Brother has only one more show and then we'll see who will be the winner. I would hate to see Vanessa win. Yuck!










Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

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                                                        Sailing along the Panama coastline.

All for now. I'm trying to get back into the groove since I'm been out some time. I'm glad I'm back.

                                                             SEE YA UNTIL THEN.


 

Monday, September 14, 2015

Warmer Monday

Well it's Monday and many are back to work and the children back to school. Not me. I just got up and Here I'm drinking my coffee and talking with you, my friends. This weekend we celebrate my daughter's 40th birthday. Her husband surprised her with a party. There were 25 people there waiting for her to enter. Joe told Nicole that they were going to a quiet dinner for the two of them and that we would take care of the children until they came home. Little did Nicole we would be bringing Emily & Cole to the party. When she arrived, she was surprised. She told Joe that she didn't want a big thing for her birthday. Nicole was having some problems with this 40th thing. Now she's happy that there were people around her. Joe arranged a wonderful dinner and Nicole was give many great gifts from her relatives &  friends. What a wonderful evening for all of us and especially Nicole. I remember when Mary Lou turned 40, I arranged a  suprise 40th birthday party for her. Amazing isn't it?

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A Lesson in Government


A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
''Okay then...good night'' said Little Johnny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''



Little Johnny... Fascinate


A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word "fascinate" in it. A little girl says, "Walt Disney World is fascinating."

The teacher says, "No, I said, 'fascinate.'"

Another little girl says, "There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life."

The teacher again says, "No, the word is fascinate."

Little Johnny yells from the back of the room, "My mom has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the 10 buttons on her shirt."



Little Johnny... Salesman


A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.

Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"

Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."

Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"

Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."

Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"

Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."

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       This is St. Kitt's, our first Caribbean coountry and after 10 years, I'll be going back to St. Kitt.

                                 That's it for now. Have a beautiful Monday everyone. 

                                                                           SEE YA!