Saturday, March 5, 2016

More Snow But More Heat Is Coming.

It snowed over night but the future  shows that next week the temperature will be in the high 50's and even into the 60's. Camero time and golfing time. I can't wait. Tonight Al & Meilin are coming over. Of course Al & I will be playing some pool but after it's not just having tea & goodies, we are going to have Chocolate cake because yesterday was Al's birthday so we're going to sing Happy Birthday to him even if he doesn't want us to do it. 
The other day Michigan had the Republicans who are running for president. Unbelievable. I sit here in Canada watching something that many people thought would never happen. The Republicans are blowing up attacking one another. People now say that all that does is give the presidency to the Democrats. I thought the politicians in my country were nuts. Where are the squirrels? ha,ha,ha.


Horrific Accident A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Blonde Guy A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed,sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closetfloor.

You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!

Flight School A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.
When he asked what happened, she said,
"I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!"

Coke Machine This blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and out comes a drink.

She keeps putting change in and pushing buttons and getting drinks. Here comes a man and asks the blonde if she is gonna be through at this machine any time soon and she responds

"I'm not gonna quit until I stop winning."

Test Tickles Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"

                                          DON"T YOU JUST LOVE THOSE BLONDES? 


 Well I'm don't for the day. Just to leave you with a thought, here's what I can't wait until spring comes.


                                                                      SEE YA.



  1. Well it's blinkin cold here at the moment and the usual dullness arrghh!

    That poor blonde I blame that irishman for having the day off sick over at mine LOL, LOL @ the adopted doggy.

    Loved the jokes and the selfie haha!

    Have a swingingtreetastic day Paul and enjoy the cake :-)

  2. That is one beautiful car!

    Politics here this year have me deeply embarrassed and scared for our future. And I don't see that turning around any time soon.

  3. Our politics have been a joke for years. It's just getting worse. A three ring circus.

    Loved all the jokes.

    Have a fabulous day Paul. ☺

  4. The inmates are running they asylum here, that's for sure. Great jokes!

  5. Love your funny jokes and I also love the new car!

  6. And now you know why I hate politics!

    Great jokes.

    Big hugs, honey...


Thanks for commenting!