Well, well, well, it's Saturday and Halloween will be here soon. Those little monsters & goblins will be appearing at your doors yelling, " Trick or Treat " You know, if you really think about that phrase, could be very dangerous. What would happen if you at your door say no treat but want a trick. I would worry about that. I always have a great deal of treats for them.
I have a surprise for you on Tuesday. There will be a section called " Tuesday's Question " My new blogging friend, Ann Clemmons of " A Nice Place In The Sun " ask people to answer people their feelings on a special individual. I answered the question of my blogging friend Sandee and my answer was chosen by Ann and she in turn asked me to write Tuesday's Question so Tuesday's Question will be Mine. Look into Tuesday's Question by me, Cruisin Paul. I'm so proud to have chosen. Thanks Ann.
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One dark night, two men were walking home after a party and decided
to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Right in the middle of the
cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the
misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You
scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing,
working here so late at night?”
“Those fools!” – the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name on my gravestone! "
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests,
the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon
making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest
episode was another and stayed put.
He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond
his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he
jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets and threw them out the
hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He
started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get
the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a
tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the
sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter) and
who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, “What the heck
is going on here?”
The drunk, still staring down replied: “I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost.”
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got
a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He,
being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was
going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need of his
good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he
went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain,
and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. In as much
as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would
have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was
not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband
cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he
could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he
left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff
that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally,
since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in
her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a
little bang.
Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and
put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a
time he had had. He said, “Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a
good time when you’re not there.”
Then she asked, “Did you dance much?”
He replied, “I’ll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got
there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the
den and played poker all evening. But I’ll tell you… The guy I loaned my
costume to sure had a real good time!”
Bump...Bump...
A man was walking home alone late one night
when he hears a BUMP...
BUMP... BUMP... behind him.
Walking faster he looks back, and makes out
the image of an upright
coffin banging its way down the middle of
the street towards him ...
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his
home, the coffin bouncing
quickly behind him ... faster... faster...
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his
keys, opens the door, rushes in,
slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the coffin crashes through his
door, with the lid of the coffin
clapping ... clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on the
heals of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man
locks himself in. His heart is
pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is
coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the
door. Bumping and clapping
towards him. The man screams and reaches
for something, anything ...
but all he can find is a box of cough drops!
Desperate, he throws the coughdrops at the coffin ...
... and of course ...
... the coffin stops!
The Cab Driver
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't
stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I
have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."She answers, 'My
dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun
a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.
I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds,
"Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and
#2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm
Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on
the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess,
I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a
Halloween party."
Beethoven's Grave
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of
a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts
searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven,
1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth
Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves
the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has
changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the
previous piece, it is being played backward.
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they
return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again
backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being
played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the
9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread and a throng has
gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the
Second Symphony being played backward.Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group.
Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for
the music.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's
just decomposing!"
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Well its for today. Enjoy your Halloween and don't forget to check my blog on Tuesday.
" SEE YA "
