Sunday, October 23, 2016

Very Cool Sunday





Good morning, good morning, good morning everyone. I may make a few mistakes this morning because I haven't had my coffee yet. This week I eventually saw my doctor and after I found that I do have high blood pressure. So, I'm now taking my medication each morning and have to monitor my blood pressure each morning and afternoon. Oh  well, that's life. I had my flu shot on Friday while I was at the doctor and yesterday my neck was very sore. Today it's not as sore. My wife said that it was because of the flu shot. Mary Lou doesn't believe in taking the flu shot. I don't know if it really works but I know while I was teaching and now after 12 years being retired, can you believe it 12 years, I've never had the flu so I will always be taking it. Do you take the flu shot? 

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Elderly Couple

An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy, "We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate food and cooking separate meals. We should just move in together." Betsy: "Whose house would we live in?" Elmer: "Mine, it is already paid for." Betsy: "Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on?" Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine." Betsy: "Who would do the cooking?" Elmer: "You cook and I'll do the dishes." Betsy: "What about sex?" Elmer: "Infrequently." Betsy: "Is that one word, or two?"




Irish Viagra

An old rish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra," asked the doctor. "Not a chance," she said, "He won't even take an aspirin." "Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Give him an Irish Viagra." "What is Irish Viagra?" she asked. "It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and let's talk in a week." A week later the doctor called the woman to check on the results. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!" "Oh my, really? What happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arms, he sent me biscuits, gravy, cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T'was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?" "Freakin' jaysus, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face at Tim Horton's again."




Keep the Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. How do you do it?" He again said, "You've got to keep the old motor running." The same thing happened the next year. The nurse said, "You must be quite a man." He responded, "You've got to keep that old motor running." The nurse then said, "Well, you had better change the oil, this one's black!"




The Miracle Show

An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program. The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part of their body they wanted fixed. Many of the people were elderly so they were covering their eyes and hearts. Then the preacher said "Ok now for you at home put your hand on the part of your body you want fixed and say this prayer with me. "So the little old lady put her hand on her heart, because she had a very bad heart. And the little old man put his hands on his crotch. The little old lady turned to her husband and said "He said he could heal the sick, not raise the dead!"

                               


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I love these older jokes because I think I've reached the age it could be me. Ha,ha,ha. Have a great Sunday everyone and have an Irish Coffee. 

                                                                     " SEE YA "



 

8 comments:

  1. I've had high blood pressure for years. If controlled you'll be fine. It's part of getting older for many.

    Loved all the jokes so I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day Paul. You'll be cruising soon. ☺

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  2. Heeheehee! You keep me smiling, as usual. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday!

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  3. Got some good jokes here again. Love the one about two old people moving in together.

    I ditto what Sandee said about blood pressure. I've had it for several decades.

    I believe in getting flu shots, too. Very important as we age.

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  4. Hello, Paul,

    Yes, I have had the flu shot, but I think Mary Lou, may have a point many people agree with her, and I'm not sure if it helped me or not. By the way, I just got over a neck ache too, that I diagnosed as a ear infection.

    Anyway, I am Ann, of http://aniceplaceinthesun.blogspot.com/2016/10/its-tuesdaysso-its-time-for-tuesdays.html, and I would like to thank you for answering last weeks Tuesday's Question. Also, I want to inform you, that you won the Brag Tag, which means you are invited to ask the next Tuesday's Question, here, on your blog. I will post your answer, when I find out what it is, and answer it. I will link to your blog and turn off my comments. I will understand if you would rather not participate, just let me know by commenting on this weeks question. But, I hope you do...I loved your answer and I think your blog is hilarious.

    Best Wishes, and I hope you feel better. :)

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    Replies
    1. Please do a Tuesday's Question Paul. You know I'll participate. ☺

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  5. How funny...infrequently at Tim Horton's! Hahaha. Good ones.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  6. Hey Paul,

    I read your comment on A Nice Place In The Sun. Thank you again, for a return visit.

    And by the way, congratulations for winning Tuesday's Question's "Brag Tag"! I replied to you on anpits. but I wasn't sure you would see my comment, so here I am and I'm glad because you make me laugh again. Anyway, all you have to do is post Tuesday's Question is post a question of your own on Cruisin Paul and I will do the rest. I will visit your blog after you post it, then I will post your Tuesday's Question on my blog, but I will turn off my comments and link the answers to your blog.

    You're welcome to post the The "Brag Tag," seen in the upright corner of my last question, but you do not have too.

    You are also welcome to pick the next best answer, although, I will do that too, if you want me to.

    I was so happy to see you on A Nice Place In The Sun. I loved your answer, sorry, that's what you get for writing well. :)

    Please let me know if you have any more questions...

    It's also nice to meet you and again, congratulations!

    :)))))

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    Replies
    1. I can't wait to see what question you come up with for Tuesday's Question. I'm so happy you're going to play along. ☺

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Thanks for commenting!