A photo of us in Cozumel last year.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who sings?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Don't you hate that awkward moment when Santa Claus has the same wrapping paper as your parents!
How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
Nothing, it was on the house!
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”
The boy became very quiet.
So, moving the conversation along, I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”
He promptly replied, “Another train.”
It’s a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, “Hey, mamacita, let’s do Weeweechu.”
Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon!” said Rosita.
Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it’s the perfect time,” Pedro begged.
“But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.” replied Rosita.
Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.”
Rosita looked at Pedro and said, “OK, one time, we’ll do Weeweechu.”
Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.
“Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.”
If you see a fat man…
Who’s jolly and cute,
wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit,
and if he is chuckling
and laughing away,
while flying around
in a miniature sleigh
with eight tiny reindeer
to pull him along,
then lets face it…
Your eggnog’s too strong!!!
Santa Claus is a woman!Santa Claus is a woman because:
- The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
- A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
- Men can’t pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don’t answer their mail.
- Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
" SEE YA "