Thursday, March 28, 2019

It Was Raining But Now It's Sunny Thursday

Let's try it again. This morning I wrote a post about Weddings. I had just finished my Cruisin Paul and as I began to click the word Publish and ..........the power went off. Aggggggggg. I did say something else but for the respect of my friends I'll just say Aggggggggg.
A wedding. I can remember my wedding way back in Saturday July 13th, 1974. This July 13th my wife and I will have been married for 44 years.

Love- When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
Lust- When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
Marriage- When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

Love- When intercourse is called making love.
Lust- When intercourse in called screwing.
Marriage- When intercourse is a little town in Pennsylvania.

Love- When you argue over how many kids to have.
Lust- When you argue over w ho gets the wet spot.
Marriage- When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

Love- When you share everything you own.
Lust- When you steal everything they own.
Marriage- When the bank owns everything.

Love- When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
Lust- When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
Marriage- When.... uh.... what's a climax.

Hot and Bothered

There's this couple and they've been dating for quite some time. He wants her really bad, but she won't sleep with him because she's saving herself for marriage. As they were kissing, and doing their thing, he's very hot and bothered, and he said, "Oh come on, just a feel."

She said, "No, I'm saving myself for marriage."

They went back and forth. He said, "Just one feel, I promise, that's all, just one feel."

She finally agreed, "Okay, just one feel, but that's all, just one, I'm saving myself for marriage."

So he puts his hand down her panties and takes a little feel. Things are getting a lot warmer and he asks, "Can't we please?"

She of course states, "NO, I'm saving myself for marriage."

He says, "Please, please?" and she says, "No, absolutely not, I'm saving myself for marriage."

He says, "How about if I agree to only just put the tip in?"

She says, "No way, I'm saving myself for marriage."

He begs and pleads with her, "I promise, just the tip, no more,and we'll stop after that." She finally gives in, "Okay, but just the tip, no more, and that's all."

He says okay and pulls down her panties and puts the tip in... he so hot and ready that he can't control himself and shoves it the whole way in and starts going to town... she meanwhile is moaning and groaning and shouts, "OKAY, GO AHEAD, PUT IT THE WHOLE WAY IN!"

A little stunned, he says, "NO, absolutely not, a deals a deal!"  

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman." The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box." The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!" The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!"

Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl."

A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car. ‘What’s up?’ says the driver. ‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman. ‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’


                     " See ya until another time. "

Cruiin Paul
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  1. I love being married. Hubby does too. We always say it's just the two of us that matter. It's how we roll.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul and the sun is shining here today too. 😎

    1. Sandee, I'm so happy that you still roll, as I. LOL See ya.

    2. So many funnies, i very much enjoyed the laughs.

  2. That man is too smart! Rubbing the $50 on the box!Lol!

  3. I got lots of grins from this post. Thanks for clarifying the definition of love.

  4. LOL these were funny Pauleo I will have to remember some for friends especially the quickest divorce in history hahah!

    I am not sure about blogger but wordpress auto save your drafts so you don't lose anything, I think with blogger you have to turn it on

    Have a weddedtastic weekend Pauleo :-)

    1. Thanks Steveo. How do you turn blogger on? I've never turned anything on with these things.

  5. Hi Paul, in answer to your question concerning "stinky beans"....Stinky beans are nice to eat and not stinky when we eat it. But it will be stinky when we go to the loo. Lol!


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