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"'Come down for dinner!
'I'm busy, mooooom!'
'Right now before it gets cold!'
-Runs down stairs-
'Where's the food?'
'It'll be ready in 5 minutes.'"Mom No. 1: How do you get your sleepy-head son up in the morning?
Mom No. 2: I just put the cat on the bed.
Mom No. 1: How does that help?
Mom No. 2: The dog’s already there.
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
Fran: What?
Erin: “We’re gonna have a BB!”
Jim: What?
Matthew: “Don’t be knotty.”
"Mom vs Dad" joke
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took a casserole out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowl on the table and prepared the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.
Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.
About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular "I'm going to bed." And he did.
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took a casserole out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowl on the table and prepared the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.
She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.
Mom then creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails.
Hubby called, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.
About that time, the hubby turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular "I'm going to bed." And he did.
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" See Ya My Friends. Enjoy The Day "
Cruisin Paul
Sorry you were interrupted all night long with thunder and lightening. Sound like you are already in your fall weather mode.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the funnies. My favorite was the mom that was going to bed then did a days worth the work.
I got your lovely birthday card on Monday. Paul. Thank you so much.
Enjoy your lunch at McDonald's. Have a great day. 😎
I'm happy that you liked the card Sandee.
DeleteI just saw a cool photo of the storm last night over lake Erie (between Erie PA and Hamilton Ont) That must have been the same storm moving east.
ReplyDeleteGood funnies Paul. Watching the house - that is a hoot, now what does that entail you having to do? Making sure the TV is working and your recliner doesn't get stolen? :-)
Ha,ha,ha Peg. Amherstburg is at the beginning of Lake Erie after you leave the Detroit River and I've seen wild storms begin there.
DeleteGreat funnies! May you get a good break in the weather, it's no fun to be soggy all of the time.
ReplyDeleteWell we told that Friday is having more storms. Oh well.
DeleteWe have had unuasually dry weather here in London lately but I feel we are definitely gonna pay for it later and it's now noticably getting darker earlier now Autumn is very near, although I like autumn and winter :-)
ReplyDeleteI liked the jokes Pauleo especially Fanny lmao :-)
Have a fannytabulous weekend Pauleo :-)
I agree with you Steveo. Things are totally different around here also.
DeleteSorry to hear about the rain. It has been raining down hear most of the winter and only the occasional thunderstorms.
ReplyDelete