Saturday, November 30, 2019

Gray Saturday Morning

Well, it's one day before December. Christmas time is upon us. My entire home is decorated for the festive times and I'm ready to go. All that I have to do is some Christmas cards to special people, my daughter informed us that YES, they will be at my home for Christmas dinner. I'm smiling my friends.
Now what to do for dinner?

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I'm going to present to you another type of " Twas the Night before Christmas " No, it's not going to sexy. I'm not like that. At least not on Christmas time. LOL I'm going to do an Italian form. Here it is.

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Italian Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas,
Da whole house was mella,
Not a creature was stirrin',
Cuz I had a gun unda da pilla.
Christmas Santa
When up on da roof
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "YO! Keep it down!"

When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But da Don of all elfs,
And eight friggin' reindeer!

Wit' slicked back black hair,
And a silk red suit,
don Christopher wuz here,
And he brought da loot!

Wit' a slap to dare snouts,
And a yank on dare manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And he called dem by name.

"Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Vinny, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!"

As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
He flew troo da winda
And slapped me 'side da head.

"What da heck you doin'
Pullin' a gun on da Don?
Now all you're gettin' is coal,
You friggin' moron!"

Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He twisted his pinky ring,
And up da chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
Away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.

Den I heard him yell out,
What I did least expect,
"Merry Friggin' Christmas to all,
And yous better show some respect!"







. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?

He was hooked on trees his whole life.


Why do mummies like Christmas so much?

They’re into all the wrapping.


What do you call an elf wearing ear muffs?

Anything you want. He can’t hear you!


What did Adam say to his wife on Christmas?

It’s finally Christmas, Eve!












                And now the last one,


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  " See You In A Few Days My Friends. "


Cruisin Paul & Mary Lou In


 

11 comments:

  1. I love your Twas the Night Before Christmas. Nice twist.

    Love all the funnies too.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend, Paul. 🌲🌲🌲

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    1. Being Italian, I had to try something. I'm happy that you liked it Sandee.

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  2. Loved the Mafia Night before Christmas. Great choice of memes to put us in a giggly holiday frame of mind. Happy December.

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    1. Thanks Jan. As I told Sandee, being an ITalian I wanted a special something. Happy December to you also.

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  3. You always bring a smile to my face. Hope you are having a Merry Christmas season already!

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    1. After your wonderful comment Mimi, I'm smiling with a gigantic smile my friend.

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  4. Thanks for the Christmas jokes. Have a great week!

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  5. Well I haven't done a thing yet LOL I wish I was like you Pauleo heheh!

    I liked all the funnies made me laugh

    It's quite cold here in London at the moment brrrr

    Have a jinglebelltastic week :-)

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    1. Well, well Steveo. You have admitted it that you'd like to be just like me. LOL

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  6. It's great to have family home for the holidays. Love the comics this week.

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Thanks for commenting!