Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Christmas is Coming Wednesday

Good morning everyone. The Sun was out once, but now it's gone. 
I have to go back to Thrasher's to continue figuring out what to do about this car fob. Everything there should work out this darn thing is just not doing what it's suppose to do. Oh well, that's the problem with these fandangle things. 


A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said, "Sorry, no room. The hotel is full."
      The Jewish lady said, "But your sign says that you have vacancies."
      The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly, "You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."
      Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said, "I'll have you know I converted to your religion."
      The desk clerk said, "Oh, yeah, let me give you a little test. How was Jesus born?"
      Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born to a virgin named Mary in a little town called Bethlehem."
      "Very good," replied the hotel clerk. "Tell me more."
      Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "He was born in a manger."
      "That's right," said the hotel clerk. "And why was he born in a manger?"
      Mrs. Rosenberg said loudly, "Because a jerk like you in the hotel wouldn't give a Jewish lady a room for the night!"

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life was, of course "perfect."
      One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a SUV) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple they stopped to help.
      There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
      Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
      Who was the survivor?
      The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.
      So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was an accident.


Christmas Present

A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it.

He writes a letter to Jesus. “Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I’ll be good for a whole week.”

He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, “I can’t be good for a whole week, I’ll be

good for five days.” He crosses that out and writes, “I’ll be good for four days.” Then he thinks again

and says, “Can’t do that.” He gets down to one day and says, “I can’t even be good for a day.”

 Then in frustration, goes in his mother’s room and get the statue of the Virgin Mary, wraps it up in a

blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says, “Dear Jesus, if I don’t get a bike for

Christmas, you’ll never see your mother again!”

  Cryptic Christmas Card

A man sent his friend a cryptic Christmas card. It said: A B C D E F G H I J

K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The recipient puzzled over it for weeks,

finally gave up and wrote asking for an explanation. In July he received the

explanation on a postcard:  " No L ".

True story

The nativity play was going as planned and Joseph and Mary were going from house 

to house knocking on the doors and asking it there was any room for them. As they 

continued to get "no room" answers a little voice called from the back "YOU 

SHOULD HAVE BOOKED!" bringing the house down.

Lisa thanks her grandpa, "Thank you Grandpa for the violin you gave me last year 

for Christmas. I've never got such a brilliant gift!"

"Really?" asks the surprised Grandpa.

Lisa says, "Oh yeah - every time I start playing, mom gives me 2 dollars so I would 




 " See Ya Friends Until Another Day "

Cruisin Paul



  1. Sorry you're still having issues with your car fob. I hope you get it straightened out and soon.

    Love all the funnies. I hope that kid gets a bike.

    Have a fabulous day. 🎄🎄🎄

    1. Today I called my insurance agent to take my Camero off the road until April. It has been snowing lately. As far as the fab, Wes is still trying to figure things off until April.

  2. I'm imagining how Playstation would play in Christmas pageants.. hehehe... You have some delightfully funny material here. Didn't know the wise men could be funny.

    Sorry about your fob, technology is wonderful until it isn't.

    1. I totally agree with you Jan. Hopefully Wes will figure out the problem.

  3. Heeheehee! Such fun here, always.

    To err is human, but to really foul things up requires technology. The old door locks worked, i hope your friend can figure out what the problem is and fix it easily.

    1. Thanks Mimi for your support. We;ll see what happens.

  4. Hope your car's problem can be settled soon. Nice Christmas jokes. Just wondering, if there is a perfect woman, she wouldn't have got into an accident. Ha ha ha...

    1. There isn't a perfect woman except my wife. She told me to say that. LOL

  5. What a "perfect" joke. I didn't see it coming (nor did the woman driver).

    1. As I told Nancy Chan, there is no perfect woman except my wife so ays she. LOL

  6. That's not good you still having problems with the car fob I hope it gets sorted soon Pauleo

    The jokes were all funny LOL @ the wise men that would be me hahaha!

    Have a good weekend Pauleo and hope you get the fob fixed that had a sound to it fob fixed ;-)

    1. Well Steveo, I put my Camero in the garage for the winter and told Wes that when April comes, we'll work things out. He told me that if he works things out before April, He'll come to my place and put everything in my Camero. Sounds great to me.

  7. Hi Paul! Thank you for the Christmas card! So sweet. Merry Christmas! Bee

    1. Bee, I will never forget you my beautiful friend. Our lives has changed but you are still a great friend. Love ya Bee.


Thanks for commenting!