Mistletoe JokeJennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl. In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy. Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section. 'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.
'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'
- Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson because he brought the house down.
- Advent sermon: 'What is hell?'
Come early and listen to our carol practice.
- Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.
Dead On Christmas Eve
Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in," he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays."
The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it. “This represents a candle of hope." Impressed, Peter lets him in.
The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells." He’s allowed in too.
“So," Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?"
The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.
“What do these have to do with Christmas?" asks Peter.
Christmas Joke: There’s A Fly In My Champagne
A multinational company held a reception to celebrate Christmas. The waiter gave each guest a glass of Champagne, but on inspection each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly.
The Swede asked for new Champagne in the same glass.
The Englishman demanded to have new Champagne in a new glass.
The Finn picked out the fly out and drank the Champagne.
The Russian drank the Champagne, fly and all.
The Chinese ate the fly but left the Champagne.
The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.
The Italian drank two thirds of the Champagne and then demanded to have a new glass.
The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish.
The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the Champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman.
The American sued the restaurant and claimed $50 million in compensation.
The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted: “Now spit out all that you swallowed!”
" See Ya Until The Next Time "
Glad you got your new fob and I'm sorry the Chevrolet place was so rude. Customer service is nonexistent in many places. Glad your former student took good care of you.ReplyDelete
Love all the funnies. Love the fly one.
Have a fabulous day, Paul. 🌲🌲🌲
I guess being a good teacher respecting my students paid off in the end. I'm so thankful for Wes. Have a great day Sandee.Delete
Many giggles but the fly in the champagne was all too accurate.ReplyDelete
Do you have enough material to last until Christmas?
Don't worry about me. I have worry about me. I will have more then enough Christmas funnies for this year. See ya Jan.Delete
I've become a bit intolerant of companies with poor service. Good that you could resolve your key issue with a different option. I think I'll do similar with a different cruise company.ReplyDelete
I'm all for that Rhonda. But you know, why do companies do that to people? I'll never know.Delete
Good for you, taking your business elsewhere. Vote for your favorite businesses with your money.ReplyDelete
Fun jokes, and the latest with mistletoe is you don't kiss the person under it, you start a fight. Everyone is getting their halls decked left and right!
ha,ha,ha Mimi. That was funny. I needed a laugh, Thanks.Delete
Congratulations to your Grandson!!!Delete
Good to know that your student solved your problem so quickly. Thanks for the Christmas jokes.ReplyDelete
No problem Nancy.Delete
Not a good way to treat customers is it Pauleo good to hear you got it sorted though :-)ReplyDelete
It's cold here too and very windy and of course raining when does it not rain in London heheh!
I enjoyed your Chritsmas joked heheh!
Have a tinseltastic week :-)
PS: I added you to my Linky
Thanks for putting me in your Linky but it isn't the correct one Steveo. When I checked on to it all I got was a widget. Sorry about that my friend.Delete