Getting Closer To Christmas Saturday

Good morning my good friends. Today the sun is out but next week, well it will be very cold. You know, I had to go and get a new fob for my car keys. I went to the Chevrolet place in town ( where I bought my Camero ). I was jacked around by this man for two weeks. I even had a call from the place and they asked me why I missed my appointment with them. Crazy, I didn't miss it. I was there for over an hour. I told them to shove their keys and I would go to respectable place. On Friday I went to Thrasher's and dealt with a former student. It took only two days to get my car fob instead being treated so bad from the Chevrolet for two weeks. My question is why did they treat me so bad?  I'll never know but thanks to Wes Thrasher my former student, I was treated well and shown a great deal of respect. Thanks Wes.

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Mistletoe Joke

Jennifer was a pretty 18 year old girl.  In the week before Christmas she sauntered up to the curtain counter, and was trying to decide which of the many types of tinsel she would buy.  Finally, she made her choice and asked the spotty youth who was manning the fabric section.  'How much is this gold tinsel garland'.

The spotty youth pointed to the Christmas mistletoe above the counter and said, 'This week we have a special offer, just one kiss per metre'.
'Wow, that's great', said Jennifer, 'I'll take 12 metres'.
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the boy measured out the tinsel, wrapped up the garland, and gave it to Jennifer.
She then called to an old man who had been browsing through the Christmas trees and said, 'My Grandpa will settle the bill.'

 

• Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
  Samson because he brought the house down.
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• Advent sermon: 'What is hell?'
  Come early and listen to our carol practice.
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• Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
  When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

Dead On Christmas Eve

Three men die on Christmas Eve and go to heaven, where they’re met by Saint Peter. “In order to get in," he tells them, “you must each produce something representative of the holidays."

The first man digs into his pockets and pulls out a match and lights it. “This represents a candle of hope." Impressed, Peter lets him in.

The second man pulls out a tangle of keys and shakes them. “These are bells." He’s allowed in too.

“So," Peter says to the third man, “what do you have?"

The third man proudly shows him a pair of red panties.

“What do these have to do with Christmas?" asks Peter.

“They’re Carol’s."

Christmas Joke: There’s A Fly In My Champagne

A multinational company held a reception to celebrate Christmas. The waiter gave each guest a glass of Champagne, but on inspection each guest noticed that their glass contained a fly.

The Swede asked for new Champagne in the same glass.

The Englishman demanded to have new Champagne in a new glass.

The Finn picked out the fly out and drank the Champagne.

The Russian drank the Champagne, fly and all.

The Chinese ate the fly but left the Champagne.

The Israeli caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.

The Italian drank two thirds of the Champagne and then demanded to have a new glass.

The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish.

The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the Champagne, which he then donated to the Englishman.

The American sued the restaurant and claimed $50 million in compensation.

The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and shouted: “Now spit out all that you swallowed!”

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              " See Ya Until The Next Time "

Cruisin Paul