What A Boy Wants For ChristmasDavid remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Macy's one Christmas Eve.
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right. In that case I'll take two.'
One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there
were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the
regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus
told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to
harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the
fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of
the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went
into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered
that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to
get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang
and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great
big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus
began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they've only been
dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift - romantic, yet not too personal.
He asks the girlfriend's younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair
she'd like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then
The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them.
But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realising. As a result, the
sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.
Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and
helpful note to accompany it:
"I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the
evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she
wears the short ones that are easier to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she'd been wearing for
the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled.
I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There's no doubt other hands will come in
contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally
be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the
coming Christmas Eve.
P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
I wonder what kind of Christmas gift will he get?
Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
( that's one of Santa's favorite jokes! Ho, Ho, Ho!)
Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho - Ho Hotel!
What does Mrs. CLaus sing to Santy on his birthday?
" Freeze a jolly good fellow!"
What does Santa put on his toast?
" Jingle Jam "
" This is the End of my Christmas Blogs. I hope that you, my friends have enjoyed the jokes and funny pictures. Soon I'll be preparing my blogs for my cruise. Oh yes, I'm ready to go. Have a Very Merry Christmas to you all. "
Thanks for sharing funny Santa and reindeer jokes. Merry Christmas.ReplyDelete
Thanks Nancy. Merry ChristmasDelete
Thanks for all the Christmas funnies.ReplyDelete
Can't wait to hear all about your cruise. We get seasick in a rowboat so we pretty much avoid water but we love to hear about others' cruises.
I'm glad that enjoyed my Christmas blogs. Once I return from my cruise, I will make my photos and then I'll do my blog. Until then Jan,Delete
" Merry Christmas "
Love the gloves vs panties gift mix up. I think the return gift will be one or the other extreme.ReplyDelete
You know the poor guy was thoughtful. LOL See ya Rhonda.Delete
The gift mix up is going to cost everyone involved, and it may not be pretty, but it is funny.ReplyDelete
Oh yes, especially the guy. Merry Christmas Mimi.Delete
So the fob saga is ongoing Pauleo you must be so frustrated with it by nowReplyDelete
Poor Santa if that reindeer bumburps :-)
Thanks for all the festive laughs Pauleo have a fobworryfreetastic weekend and a merry Christmas :-)
Yes the saga continues but I'm not worried. It's Christmas time and I'm not going to worry about a fob right now. Thanks for being a good friend Steveo.Delete