Wednesday, December 18, 2019

SNOW Is Here Wednesday

Good morning friends.Well, it's 7 days until Christmas. I hope you all have your gifts boughts. Wes called me and the saga of my fob has reached a another change. He informed me that he couldn't figure the problem so I would have take this to Country Side Chevrolet in Essex where they have a machine that could fix this fob. Since my Camero is in the garage for the winter, I'll have to wait until April.  People tell me that to change a fob it should take no more then 5 minutes. Nuts.

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What A Boy Wants For ChristmasFunny Adult Christmas Jokes

David remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Macy's one Christmas Eve.
Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right.  In that case I'll take two.'




One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run... but there

were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the

regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus

told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to

harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the

fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of

the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went

into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whisky. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered

that the elves had hid the bottle and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally

dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to

get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang

and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great

big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day?

I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?" Thus

began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.


  
A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas. After all, they've only been

dating for three weeks so it seems like the ideal gift - romantic, yet not too personal.

He asks the girlfriend's younger sister to accompany him to buy them then she can point out a pair

she'd like. They go to the mall and the sister points out a pair of white gloves which the guy then

buys.

The sister then picks up a pair of panties for herself and buys them.

But during the wrapping, the clerk mixes up the parcels without anyone realising. As a result, the

sister gets the gloves and the guy takes home a gift box containing the panties.

Without checking, the guy rushes the gift to his sweetheart, but only after drafting this loving and

helpful note to accompany it:

 "I chose these because I notice you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the

evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she

wears the short ones that are easier to remove.

These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair she'd been wearing for

the last three weeks and they were hardly soiled.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time. There's no doubt other hands will come in

contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally

be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for the
coming Christmas Eve.

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

I wonder what kind of Christmas gift will he get?

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Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him.

( that's one of Santa's favorite jokes! Ho, Ho, Ho!)

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?

At a Ho - Ho Hotel!  

What does Mrs. CLaus sing to Santy on his birthday?

" Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

What does Santa put on his toast?

" Jingle Jam "


  



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 " This is the End of my Christmas Blogs. I hope that you, my friends have enjoyed the jokes and funny pictures. Soon I'll be preparing my blogs for my cruise. Oh yes, I'm ready to go. Have a Very Merry Christmas to you all. "



Cruisin Paul




10 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing funny Santa and reindeer jokes. Merry Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for all the Christmas funnies.

    Can't wait to hear all about your cruise. We get seasick in a rowboat so we pretty much avoid water but we love to hear about others' cruises.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that enjoyed my Christmas blogs. Once I return from my cruise, I will make my photos and then I'll do my blog. Until then Jan,

      " Merry Christmas "

      Delete
  3. Love the gloves vs panties gift mix up. I think the return gift will be one or the other extreme.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know the poor guy was thoughtful. LOL See ya Rhonda.

      Delete
  4. The gift mix up is going to cost everyone involved, and it may not be pretty, but it is funny.

    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, especially the guy. Merry Christmas Mimi.

      Delete
  5. So the fob saga is ongoing Pauleo you must be so frustrated with it by now

    Poor Santa if that reindeer bumburps :-)

    Thanks for all the festive laughs Pauleo have a fobworryfreetastic weekend and a merry Christmas :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the saga continues but I'm not worried. It's Christmas time and I'm not going to worry about a fob right now. Thanks for being a good friend Steveo.

      Delete

Thanks for commenting!