Saturday, June 13, 2020

Cool Sunny Saturday

Good wonderful morning my friends. Nothing about the selling of my home yet. We are just praying that someone will love to take this home. Things are doing things OK in our place dealing with the virus. My wife is outside cutting the lawn at the moment. She's a wonderful woman.


An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"

"Of course child. What may I do for you?"

"Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you," she replied.
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"

Father replied, " I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman which is, to date, unused. "
Father replied, "I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused."

Roaring with laughter, the official said. " Go ahead father. Next please. "

Doctors Visit

They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a

crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "?Yes??"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!


 " Try to be Safe my Friends when You get out."
Cruisin Paul


  1. You just need to find the right buyer. You will.

    Love all the funnies and hubby and I laugh about getting old all the time. You have to laugh. There are so many funny things we do.

    Have a fabulous weekend, Paul. 😎

    1. Come on Sandy, you two aren't getting old, you're getting better.

  2. Loved the stacked mother...
    Good luck with the house sale.
    Are you taking up permanent residency on a cruise ship?

    Have a great weekend!

    1. I would love to take up residency on a cruise ship but my wife would divorce me first. LOL

  3. I hope that the action on your house goes well and you get good interest. Love the joke about the hair drier.

    1. My realtor is coming to talk about it Sunday afternoon.

  4. Give it time then the interest will start coming in It's probably cos of what's going on at the moment Pauleo

    I liked all the jokes I wonder if that letter ever got further than his crack :-)

    Still on lockdown here Pauleo it's been eased a bit here but not for anyone sheilding but most think it's too early for easing here at the moment.

    Have a wonderful Sunday Lockdown Pauleo and enjoy your newly cut lawn :-) and stay safe 😷😷😷

    1. Steveo, I want to slowly ease out from the quarantine. Monday I'm going to visit my eye doctor. Wish me luck my friend. My lawn is impeckable. It always is. My wife does it.LOL

  5. Heeheehee! You always come through with laughs.

    Praying your home sells very, very soon.

    1. Thank you Mimi. We are praying also my friend.


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