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The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love." the boy replied.
Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Johnny," she said gently, "don't you see how silly that is? It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener."
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.
The first kid sat in the first row was a teachers pet. He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."
The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby ... if I can, and I think I can."
The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can ... and I think can!"
The morning after an all-night honeymoon expert virtuoso performance in bed, the somewhat amazed but blissfully happy newlywed wife snuggles up to her new hubby and says, "Darling, you are just wonderful. Last night was simply amazing. May I ask how many others were there before me?"
After a few moments of silence, the wife becomes a little testy and says, "Come on, I know there must have been some - I'm waiting."
And "Captain Experience" takes a deep breath and says, "Hang on sweetheart, I'm still counting."
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" Be Happy, Be Safe, Be Strong. "
Cruisin Paul
I hope someone makes an offer on your home soon. Houses are selling like hotcakes here.
ReplyDeleteLove all the funnies.
Have a fabulous day and week, Paul. 😎
Houses are also going fast around here. One went for $650,000 and another just went out for $850,000. Mine is cheaper so it better go soon.
DeleteHeeheehee! Which end, that is especially a good one.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers for a quick and fair offer on your home. Now that you've made that hard decision, having to wait around to sell the house just makes everything else more difficult.
Thank you Mimi for the prayers. I know they will help.
DeleteCongratulations on the home viewings. It sounds popular. And good jokes this week too.
ReplyDeleteWell Rhonda, I hope things will work soon. Thanks my friend.
DeleteI hope you will get a good buyer offering the right price for your house. Which end? That is a smart question!
ReplyDeleteI hope so also Nancy.
DeleteI am sure one will make you a good offer soon Pauleo if it's acceptable then you can get things going my fingers are crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞🤞
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed all the jokes thanks for the laughs
Still shielding here although I don't mind I would rather stay in than get ill :shock:
Have a safetastic week Lockdown Pauleo 😷😷😷
from Shielding Steve LOL :-)
We'll see if they give us an offer. I like your new name Steveo. Shielding Steveo
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