Thursday, June 4, 2020

Warm Thursday

Good evening Friends. Things are starting to move a bit around here but I still not going to go out in town without my mask. I'm spending some time on my deck listening to music and when I go on my computer I have a blog and I'm now on Facebook. I now have 33 friends. 
I'm so sorry for my American friends of what is going on in their country. Things just aren't right there. I don't want to get into anything political since I can't vote there anyway but heck, there has to be a change and that's all I will say about that.
My wife and I have decided to put our home up for sale. We'll see what will happen with this. It's about time to leave this staircase. I've almost fallen twice near the top and I'm sure if I had fallen, something bad would have happened. I love this home and the Pointe West area but it's time.

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What happens when the devil goes bald?

...... there's Hell toupe




An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once - nothing; twice - the Indian shivers a bit; thrice - the Indian grunts, but lives.

The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Indian asks "May I stay and watch? In all jokes the Russians somehow come out on top. I want to see how he will do it this time".

The Devil nods and turns to the Russian: "So, what will you use as a shield?"
 
 The Russian said  " The Indian of course ".


A man dies and goes to hell.

Once there, he finds that there is a different hell for each country, so he tries to seek out the least painful one.

At the door to German Hell, he is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

He does not like the sound of that, so he checks out American Hell, Russian Hell and many more. They are all similarly gruesome. However, at Nigerian Hell a long line of people is waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told: "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Nigerian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."

"But that's the same as the others," says the man. "Why are so many people waiting to get in?"
 " Because of the power cuts, the electric chair doesn't work, the nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable, and the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so come in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for private business".




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                " Keep Safe My Friends "


Cruisin Paul

13 comments:

  1. "The Indian, of course!" Heeheehee!

    Excellent jokes, and i am sorry that you will have to leave the home you love, but i do think that's the right decision. Waiting until a move is forced on you would be a worse thing.

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    1. Well Mimi, we're just waiting for people coming to check our home first.

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  2. Sorry to hear about your near misses but your safety is more important. Love the devil jokes.

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    1. Yes Rhonda, Those near misses were enough to scare me enough to decide to sell.

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  3. Oh dear, the Indian lost his chance to leave! It is best to find a home without a staircase for your own safety. Better not take any chances. Have a wonderful weekend.

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    1. Yes, you are correct Nancy. No more chances.

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  4. You always have good "funnies" Paul. Thanks for the laughs. We too are looking for a one level home for the same reasons. If Only I could be your neighbor. Can I get refugee status and move to Canada? :-) Happy packing Paul!!

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    1. I'd let you be my neighbor and let you be refugee status We'd have a lot of fun Peg.

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  5. Love all the funnies, Paul. We need to laugh more.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend. 😎

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    1. I totally agree with you Sandee. There should be more people laughing in both our countries.

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  6. I am sorry to hear your planning to move but by the sounds of it your doing the right thing Pauleo especially with your near falls your well being comes first :-)

    The jokes were funny Pauleo

    I am staying in Lockdown too Pauleo nobody trusts the clowns running the UK at the moment :-)

    Have a safetastic weekend 😷😷😷

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    1. It's nothing like what is going on in the United States with Trump. It's scary.

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  7. Devil's food cake is always better.
    Move in with your daughter. Let her take care of you. I'm sure you took care of her all her life...now it's her turn...lol Enjoy the weekend.
    TrippinTim

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Thanks for commenting!