Hot, Hot, Hot Wednesday

Good morning friends. This is a very special day for my wife and I. It's our 42nd wedding anniversary
                                                               42 years ago

                                                                       and today

 



I'm so proud of Mary Lou. She was able to stick around with me for this long. Ha,ha,ha. After my stroke and other difficulties that I've had, after three children as everyone know that children can be
a challenge though loving them, Mary Lou has kept herself physically beautiful ( I try but not as good as she. ) and having to do a great deal of the physical work out side ( I'm been having a great deal problems that I can't do things outside in my yard ), Mary Lou doesn't worry about them, she just just enjoys it. So as you can see, I LOVE that woman and I hope that God willing, I'll be with her for  many year to go.

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Funny jokes about husband - Remarry
A husband asks his wife:
- If I die, will you remarry?
- Of course no, darling, I will stay with my sister. And if I die, will you remarry?
- No, I will also stay with your sister.

Marriage
A couple is celebrating their 30 years anniversary of marriage. The husband asks his wife:
- We have grown 12 kids. But Johnny is different from the rest. Please, tell me honestly, I will forgive you, but I wanna know – maybe you have cheated on me?
The wife replies:
- Yes, I was. Johnny is your real son

A box
After the marriage the bride put a box next to her bed and told her husband never to open and check, what’s inside of it. 40 years passed and the husband impatiently opened the box and found there 3 empty bottles of beer and 14000$.
In the evening during the dinner he tells his wife:
- Darling, I have to admit, I opened the box. Would you explain why there are 3 bottles?
- You see, whenever I cheated on you, I emptied a bottle of beer and put it in a box…
The husband gives it a pause and thinks: well, 3 time, that isn’t so much…
- And why do you keep the 14000$ there?
- Well, when the bottles do not fit in the box, I return them and get back the deposit.

VehicleThree men die and come to the gate. St. Peter says:
-From now on all men will travel to paradise, and let them in. St. Peter comes to the first and asks how many times he was unfaithful? First men estimates about 20 times. St. Peter says: - Here is you an old car to ride in the paradise.
Asks the second:
-How many times you were unfaithful? Second response: -10 times.
St.Peter gives him the Mersedes to ride in the  paradise. Comes to the third one and
asks: -Well and how many times you were  unfaithful. Men responses: -Mr. Peter,
I loved my wife very much and I was faithful to her all my life. St. Peter does
not believe, looks seriously at his book and notice that man doesn't lie. So for
his loyalty he gives him Jaguar to ride on the sky.
After some time St. Peter met the third man with the Jaguar, who looks all upset and unhappy. -What happened to you, you have Jaguar, why you look so  upset?, ask ST. Peter. The man response: -You see, after half a year I met my  wife, you know I do ride with the Jaguar, while she only with roller skating..

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! 

 

 

Husband & Wife - Love Your Enemy

From his death bed, the husband called his wife and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Samy." "Samy! But he is your enemy !" "Yes, I know that ! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now ."

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Husband & Wife - Wedding Ring

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? " The other replied, " Yes I am, I married the wrong man. "

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Husband & Wife - Why ?

" Dad, I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife I'd be home that night, and when I got into my room I found my wife in another man's arms. " Why, Dad ? Tell me why!" Dad kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, Son, she didn't get the fax ."

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That's it for now my wonderful friends. I wish I could show you the card mary Lou gave this morning but it's to long. I will just let you know what the card sees' Here they are

 

Marriage is like FOOTBALL, HUDDLE, but    RUSHING!

 

Marriage is like   TIME OUT but she's the referee, UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT ( forgot to put the lid down!

 

Marriage is like working together CLIPPING NEWS PAPER CLIPPING and after she HANDS OFF ( the remote for the TV )

 

Marriage is BACKFIELD IN MOTION ( watching her as she walks WOW! ), FORWARD PASS ( I think you know what that is.)  , OFFSIDES ( when I take all the covers )

but the most important

Marriage is when she is SACKING THE QUARTERBACK ( ME )

We make a GREAT TEAM!

                              Happy Anniversary   

                                                                     LOVE  Mary Lou

I just love her card.  Sorry for being so mushy but I'm that type of man.

                                                                       " SEE YA "

 

                         

 

 

 

         MARY LOU

 

                   and

Warm Sunday Morning

Good morning friends. Well the weather has been pretty good lately but as we enter this week they say it will be in the 90's and humid. I guess, you can never get the proper weather. Our daughter tells us that she wishes that it was winter because it's to hot in the summer and in the winter she says to us it's to cold she wishes it was summer. She can never satisfied. I guess that is what is wrong with humans, they can never be satisfied. As far as I'm concerned, I take whatever the day gives to me and deal with it to the best of my ability. What do you think?

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A Young Couple

A young couple was out cruising one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all of your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car over.
The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your crotch with that and go get help from the gas station down the road."
She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies with some astonishment, "I think he's too far in!"

Little Johnny's "Bookish" Father

Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling.
She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today."
The first student raised her hand to volunteer.
"Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first."
Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny."
The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?"
Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie."
"Very good," the teacher told Kevin.
Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..."
Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again.
Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next.
Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."

Girlfriend - Boyfriend 

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The sweet, caring, loyal, loving boyfriend -
never fights,
never argues,
never takes advantage,
never leaves,
never slaps,
never makes you cry,
never hurts,
.
.
.
and doesn’t exist!

Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you."

The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready.

"Well, what is it?" he asks.

"It's a bit embarrassing," she replies. "These two green circles have appeared on the inside of my thighs."

The doctor examines her and finally admits he has no idea what the cause is. Then he suddenly asks, "Is your boyfriend a Harley rider?"

The woman blushes and says, "Well, actually he is."

"That's the problem," the doctor says. "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

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That's about it for now my friends. Have an enjoyable, warm but breezy Sunday.

 
                                                                       " SEE YA "

Finally Some Rain

 Good morning everyone. Finally we had rain but unfortunately it didn't last to long. Yesterday my neighbor Ron & I cleaned up ( he did the most of the cleaning ) my Camero. When we were finished the BumbleBee was beautiful. Shining in the sun before it rained. Of course I put the Camero in the garage. I never thought my car could look so good. Ron knows how to do it. 
Later we went to Al & Meilin's to have a BBQ with his daughter & boyfriend, and a couple other friends of Al's. WE had such a great time. 
My insurance guy Tim lost his entire home and everything in it. At around 4 in the morning his home lit up in flames. Luckily, the family were able to get out of the place but they lost everything. 
Today Dan, Tony & I are going out for lunch. These two are my wonderful cousins.

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The Boss

One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, ''How much is the yellow one?''
The assistant says, ''$2000.'' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, ''This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.''
''What about the green one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.''
''What about the red one?'' the man asks.
The assistant says, ''That one's $10,000.''
The man says, ''What does HE do?''
The assistant says, ''I don't know, but the other two call him boss.''

In this time of cutbacks and austerity budgets, it seems there are downsizing announcements every night on the news. Let’s hope it doesn’t happen like in this boss joke:

Boss: “Experts say humour in the workplace relieves tension in this time of downsizing. So….. Knock Knock.”
Employee: “Who’s there?”
Boss: “Not you anymore!”

Ever have a boss that feeds off of authority? Today’s joke showcases one such boss:

A female manager of a large office noticed a new male employee and told him to come into her office.
“What is your name?” she asked the new guy.
“John,” the new guy replied.
She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker … That’s why I am to be only referred to as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we’ve got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”

The boss was complaining the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect from his staff.
The next day, he brought a small sign to work that stated, “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door.
Later when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said, “Your wife called. She wants her sign back!”

An employee called his boss one morning to say he was calling in sick.
The boss replied, “Whenever I feel sick, I just have sex with my wife. That always makes me feel better. You should try it.”
The employee said, “Okay. I’ll give it a try.”
A while later the employee called his boss back. He said happily, “You’re right! It worked! I feel much better! By the way, you have a really nice house.”

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Well now that Canada Day & the 4th of July are all finished what's ahead of all of you? A vacation maybe or just work or if you're like me, retirement which mean vacation always. Sorry for you my friends that still working. Someday it will happens and when it does, Hot Damn.
Have a beautiful Thursday everyone. 

 


                                                                            " SEE YA "

 

Hot Dry Sunday

Wow, is it dry around here. We haven't had substantial rain in such a long time and the fire dept. has in formed the people that they shouldn't have fire works this year in fear of fire. That's true. My lawn is so dry that even if I'm going to BBQ, I going to have my water hose around in case. Friday was Canada Day and tomorrow is the American's Independence. Party time. I heard that the fire Dept over in Detroit has informed the towns that they shouldn't allow fire works also. It's that bad.

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Hearing problem

A man goes to his doctor and says: "I don't think the hearing of my mother-in-law is as good as it used to be, what should I do?"
The doctor replies: "Try this test to find out for sure. When your mother-in-law is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn't respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you."
The man goes home and sees his mother-in-law preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says: "What's for dinner today?" No reponse.
He moves to ten feet behind her and asks again, no response.
Five feet, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says: "Hey, what's for a supper?"
She says: "For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!"

 
Which one?

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought THREE women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law.
She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead."
"Wow! How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired.
She coldly replied: "Because I can't stand HER."

Three instead of two

The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."

 
My love dress

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing; and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said.

Doctor: I'm sorry to say that your mother-in-law had a heart attack.
Daughter-in-law: That's impossible
Doctor: What do mean that's impossible?
Daughter-in-law: She can't have a heart attack! She doesn't have a heart!

Mother-in-law: If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantelpiece (the shelf above the open fireplace)?
Daughter-in-law: So as to keep the kids away from the fire!

Mother-in-law: If you don't like me, why do you take me on holidays with you?
Daughter-in-law: So I don't have to kiss you good-bye.

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Since tomorrow is my American friends 4th of July. I want them to feel how respected they are from this Canadian.  

                                 I hope that you all enjoy your special day my friends

                                                                             " SEE YA "

Canada Friday

 

Have a fantastic Canada  Day my friends.