Sunday, December 6, 2015

Cold, Gray Sunday

Good morning everyone. One thing I hate about this time of the year, sunshine disappears and I need sunshine. For some reason without the bright sunshine, I feel down a lot. Amherstburg has the Festival of Lights every year that is just beautiful especially when there is snow on the ground. Here are just a few of the lights down by the river,
































                                      As soon as I saw this, I thought about my Camero.

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At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come and give your Daddy a great big hug!"  




A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. He says, "Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say hello?"



A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. When the mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?" the husband says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!" 




A young boy comes home from school in a bad mood. His father asks him, "What's wrong, son?" The kid tells his dad that he's upset because another kid has been teasing him and calling him gay. The father says, "Punch him in the face next time he does that. I bet he'll stop." The kid replies, "Yeah, but he's so cute!"

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All finished for today. Please enjoy your  day  and think of others around you.

                                                                " SEE YA "

 

Friday, December 4, 2015

Dull, Gray Friday


Well Steve's funeral was yesterday and now today life continues. After talking with many people at the funeral home, they informed me that Steve had been sick for a couple days and after going to work he dropped to the floor. He was rushed to the hospital where it was found he has a stroke and while there he had another stroke and died. When ever I here about the word stroke, I think about when I had my stroke but I was saved. I thank God everyday how lucky I am but at the same time it scares me because I could have another one anytime. You just never know. RIP Steve.
Today, Gerry is coming over for coffee and some discussion. He told me that he was going to bring us some pumpkin pie. I just love pumpkin pie. My wife & I just about finished with the Christmas decorations. Late I'll be showing you what it looks like. The new fireplace really work well, very well even to the point that we can't keep it on to long. last 25 years we had almost no heat. This one is gives a lot of heat. Oh well. ha,ha,ha.
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                                                                       " How STUPID "

What A Boy Wants For ChristmasFunny Adult Christmas Jokes

David remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Macy's one Christmas Eve.
Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right.  In that case I'll take two.'








What A Girl Wants For Christmas

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap.  Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'
'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.
'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'
Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'



It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."

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                                           That's it for now. Have a great Friday and be safe 

 

                                                                                " SEE YA "

Monday, November 30, 2015

Bright Sunshine Monday With Tears




 This morning I'm not feeling the best. A friend that I grew up in my entire life has past on. His name is Steve. Him & I went to school in our entire grade school life and though we didn't stay when we hit our high school life we still continued to be friends and we both lived and worked in Amherstburg. His age is 66, just like my mine. He was a great guy and I'll miss him and so will so many other people. RIP my good friend.

                                                                    IN MEMORY

                                            Steve Wigle

                                                           1949 - 2015

 

Obituary of Steve Wigle

A husband, father, uncle, papa and friend to all
Steve passed away peacefully Saturday morning with his family by his side. He was a devoted son to Ruth and James Wigle, loving brother to Wendy, Dan and Michael. Uncle to Wes, Katherine, Gordon, Stephanie, Victor, Adam, Tammy and Terra.
Since 1989 when we first opened By The Wayside (what an interesting name for a butcher shop) until November 2015 Steve worked day and night to turn his passion into a business. He was a gifted butcher but his real passion was making other people happy. Wigle's Gourmet Meat became Steve’s second home, his staff (past and present) was his second family and his customers were all his friends.
Steve was a family man first. Loving and devoted husband to Margo for 45 years. Father, hero and best friend to Dana, Colin, Kristy Bouchard (Robert). Proud papa to his favourite people, Alaire, Jake, Avarie, Jayci, Steven and Shelby.
A member of Brentwood for 33 years, Steve lived his life in service to others and had a heart big enough to love an entire community. We are grateful for all the support and prayers and memories sent during this very difficult time and we will proudly carry on his legacy.

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As you can see there won't be any jokes and photos today. I'll try to get back into the regular blog later on in the week. Sorry with this but due to the respect I had for Steve this is all I have for today.



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Saturday, November 28, 2015

Dull Saturday


The rain has stopped but now the cold is preparing to enter our area. Please no snow. Good morning friends. I just done talking with my lovely friend Bee in Florida. I guess I woke her up. Sorry Bee. Guess what? I finally have a new fireplace. They came in on Thursday and did all the necessary work to complete the work and this new one does give us heat. Now that all the things needed to complete, I can begin Christmas decorating. have you started decorating for the holidays yet?  Last night we were at Al's place and I had the most fantastic shot ever. I had the ball bounce off three areas of the rails and eventually finish hitting the ball and into the pocket. Al was amazed and so was I. Lucky me.
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Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"  




A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."


A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." 


A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”





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That's it for today. After this, I plan on decorating for Christmas and definately I'll remember the Christmas balls. ha,ha,ha. Have a great Saturday my friends.

                                                                           " SEE YA "


 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Beautiful Sunny Wednesday


Another good morning and it's even Wednesday. Yesterday the guys came in and tore out the old fireplace. Wow what a hole it left. Now I have to have a another man come in today to put materials in the back of the hole before they bring in the new fireplace. By tomorrow, it will be finished and all we have to do is pay the bill. That's the bad part of this whole thing but I guess that's part of the whole thing., right? Tonight Al & Meilin are coming over tonight and as usual Al & I will be enjoying pool.
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Gassy Granny


An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with frequent gas. Fortunately, the farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 10 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"
The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."
The next week the old lady returns. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my silent farts stink like the dickens."
The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."



Gynecological Echo



A woman goes to the gynecologist for an exam. She puts her feet into the stirrups and the doctor begins his exam.

After a moment, he says, "You have an unusually deep vagina."

The woman replies, "You don't have to say it twice."

The doctor says, "I didn't."




 


Grandma

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn in her wheel chair where the activity's for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't talk very well but she could write notes fairly well when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn Grandma started leaning off to the right and some family members grabbed her and straightened her up and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later she started leaning off to her left and again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward and the family members again grabbed her and tied a pillow case around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma, you're looking good, how are they treating you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."




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Just received a phone call from the man who was suppose to come to put the stuff in my fireplace hole. He can't come today but will tomorrow. Oh well, that's my life. I always have to wait for someone else but when I have change something, they get mad at me. He said he'll be at my place early in the morning and the other men with my new fireplace can still come in the afternoon to install the fireplace. 
Enjoy your Wednesday my good friends and be happy.

                                                                       " SEE YA "

 

Monday, November 23, 2015

Well the Sun's Out Monday


Good morning my good friends. The snow is still there but the highways are cleared. My Bumble Bee has never been in snow and I hope to never do but I have to go to my eye doctor this morning. As long as it's not snowing, I'm safe but I'm hoping that it won't snow until I get back home. Michigan got clobbered yesterday. Some areas even got 16 inches of that beautiful, lovely white silly junk. What we have on the ground will be gone soon by the end of the week since it's suppose to rain on Friday. Tomorrow they bring in the new fireplace. I enjoy a beautiful fireplace with its flames around the logs. This week will be busy for all of us so we better get it going.

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An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"


A man buys a parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets reallylaughter is the best medicinenasty,so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."

The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."

The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"



An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening at church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "STOP! ACTS 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized, in the name of the lord, so that your sins may be forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell scripture at you."

"SCRIPTURE?!" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and TWO 38's!

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Well that's it for now you good people. Have a gorgeous Monday even those who have to go to work. Not me. 

                                                          " SEE YA "