Saturday, November 28, 2015

Dull Saturday

The rain has stopped but now the cold is preparing to enter our area. Please no snow. Good morning friends. I just done talking with my lovely friend Bee in Florida. I guess I woke her up. Sorry Bee. Guess what? I finally have a new fireplace. They came in on Thursday and did all the necessary work to complete the work and this new one does give us heat. Now that all the things needed to complete, I can begin Christmas decorating. have you started decorating for the holidays yet?  Last night we were at Al's place and I had the most fantastic shot ever. I had the ball bounce off three areas of the rails and eventually finish hitting the ball and into the pocket. Al was amazed and so was I. Lucky me.

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"  

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." 

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”


That's it for today. After this, I plan on decorating for Christmas and definately I'll remember the Christmas balls. ha,ha,ha. Have a great Saturday my friends.

                                                                           " SEE YA "



  1. I'm about to have my first cup of coffee this morning. I'm ready. I'm sorry you're entering the cold part of the year. That usually means snow right? I hope there is no snow for a very long time.

    We don't decorate here anymore. Too many ways for us to hurt ourselves. So we just don't. We did for years and years.

    Loved all the jokes.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. You'll be packing for your cruise pretty soon. That will be great fun. ☺

  2. It was cold windy & dreary here today to it was dark by 3.45pm arggh!

    Good to hear you got your new fireplace and better heat, we don't usually decorate till around 2 weeks before xmas here.

    The jokes made me chuckle LOL and I liked the last quote :-)

    Have a warmtastic weekend Paul :-)

  3. For a couple of hours until work, i'll turn off my responsible adult button, too!

  4. Loved all the jokes! 21 more days till our cruise...can't wait!

    Big hugs, honey...

  5. Love the jokes, Paul! Thanks a lot! :) Yesterday it rained, rained, rained here the whole day in Montreal, but I didn't mind. I love the smell of the air and the sound of the rain and I had plenty to do around here to keep me busy. The only thing is that I had quite a bit of arthritis pain last night but thankfully it has diminished.

  6. Great jokes, Paul. Happy Christmas decorating! Have a beautiful Sunday!


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