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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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Well the rain has stopped so I better get to town before it starts raining again. Have a wonderful Friday friends.
" SEE YA "
The cat and dog ones had me laughing the hardest, Paul! Thanks so much for sharing and I hope you have a great weekend! :)
ReplyDeleteLove the demon cat. Have a great weekend, Paul. I hope it gets warmer. We're getting high winds today which means they are headed your way soon.
ReplyDeleteI linked you to Feline Friday. Just so you know.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes as always.
It's getting chilly here, but the sun is shining and later today we'll cruise to Stockton Yacht Club.
Have a fabulous day and weekend my friend. ☺
We have had 2 days of heavy rain arghhh!
ReplyDeleteLoved the jokes...ooops! just dropped summit :-)
Have a wettastic day Paul :-)
love your jokester blog! The cat with dogs photo was a scream! Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLove the kitten in disguise! And i'll have to tell the pharmacist joke to my pharmacist cousin.
ReplyDeleteLove all the cats pictures, especially the cat in disguise! Have a wonderful weekend!
ReplyDeleteHonesty was a good policy after all for that golfer. Life is good.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...