On my Monday Blog I said that I was having a guy in to check on my fireplace. Well he came but he didn't fix and clean it. While checking on it he told me that he found many cracks in the fireplace itself, the wiring after 25 years was shot and there were so many problems especially we found that the one we bought 25 years ago wouldn't even give heat and the heat of the house was going up the chimney. So, we are having a new one brought in and this one will have heat. That night my wife informed me that the hot water tank was leaking. Oh boy another problem. A man came in later that night and we arranged to have a new one brought in Wednesday which was yesterday. More money. My wife & daughter went to Windsor on Tuesday and when they arrived home, surprise they bought a new stationary bike that we all could us and they even put in together themselves. Christmas is not even here yet and the bills are now coming in before the Christmas season. Yikes! I haven't even got my gift yet. Ha,ha,ha.
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A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After
it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an
announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York
to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a
smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax -- OH MY GOD!"
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the Captain came back on the
intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm so sorry if I scared you
earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup
of coffee and spilt it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!
A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing, he should see the back of
mine!"
The crew of a US airliner made a wrong turn during taxi and came nose
to nose with another aircraft, the furious ground controller (a female)
screamed: "[Callsign] where are you going? I told you to turn right on
'Charlie' taxiway; you turned right on 'Delta'. Stop right there"
Continuing her verbal lashing of the embarrassed crew, she shouted:
"You've screwed everything up. It'll take forever to sort this out. You
stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect
progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to go
exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got
that?"
Naturally, the frequency went very quiet until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
Naturally, the frequency went very quiet until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket
for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy and then
looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the
first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she
moves forward to the last empty seat in first class. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her
the seat is in economy. The blonde replies, "I'm young and beautiful,
and have never had this problem before. I'm going to sit here all the
way, until we get to New York." Flustered, the flight attendant goes to
the cockpit and informs the Captain of the blonde problem. The captain
goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy.
Again, the blonde replies, in exactly the same way.The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the
cockpit to discuss the blonde problem with the Co-pilot. The Co-pilot
says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the
problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something in the
blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says "Thank you so much, now I
understand". She hugs the Co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the
economy section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with
rapt attention, asked the Co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He
replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to
New York."
Perfect storm, perfect wind perfect way of losing my leaves around my yard. Lucky me. Have a great day my friends.
" SEE YA "
Paul, LOL!!! A woman's cold and a man's cold made me laugh the hardest. I have always said that a man could never handle being pregnant. :) It is supposed to rain here in Montreal today and tomorrow. :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you're spending money on things that need fixed. It seems it's always something. You'll survive. It will be nice to have your fireplace back along with a new water heater that doesn't leak.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes as always.
Have a terrific day my friend. ☺
That wheels of life cartoon sure is true.
ReplyDeleteOhmygod did I laugh at the blonde joke. Poor blondes. But then most of them choose to be blonde, they are born that way. LOL
We didn't get the winds they were predicting here.
My sympathy on the many repairs and expenses. Don't say it too loud, or my house will start falling apart again!
ReplyDeleteIt always happens at once doesn't it and things like that have to be done as soon as possible.
ReplyDeleteLOL @ the jokes especially the builders bum one
PS: Paul take summit for that wind it can get a tad embarrassing :-)
All things and ppl fall apart with age. Bugger. At least we can still laugh!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...
Welcome back Paul glad you got your PC fixed that can be so annoying :-(
ReplyDelete