Friday, June 26, 2020

Bright Sunny Friday

Well, it's Friday and my wife informed me that I would have to wait until 3:00pm to find out if our home was sold. Papers are signed,  but I'm just waiting. Waiting is the most difficult thing to do.

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Nun Beer


Two nuns were shopping at Kroger's.  As they passed the cold beer cooler one nun commented that it would be nice to have a cold beer or two on this hot summer evening.  The other nun agreed, "Indeed it would, sister, but I wouldn't feel comfortable buying beer here as it would likely cause a scene at the checkout."  "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied.  She added a six-pack of Blue Moon to her cart and headed for the checkout.  The cashier had a surprised look on her face when the nuns handed her the beer and gave them a quizzical look. The nun said, "We use beer for washing our hair back at the convent, we call it a 'Catholic Shampoo'.
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and pulled out a large bag of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer.  She then looked at the nuns, smiled and said, "The curlers are on the house."






Hearing Angels Sing

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church. When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?" "Why reverend," the young thing replied. All of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts." "Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!" "Of course not reverend," she said. "Your not plugged in yet."



Nun's Underpants

Three nuns used to go to the church from their homes every day. On the way they would pass a house where a parrot lived. The parrot would call out three colors every time the nuns would pass by. They soon realized that the parrot was calling out the colors of their respective underpants. They tried to fool the parrot by switching positions while walking and even wearing different colored underpants every day, but the parrot was never wrong. Finally they devised a way to fool the parrot by not wearing any underpants at all. When they walked across the house the parrot spoke out loud, ''Straight, straight, curly.''

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        "Believe That We Will Be Strong"


Cruisin Paul
 

12 comments:

  1. Good show Paul. If papers are signed I say start packing!

    Trippin Tim

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    Replies
    1. Tomorrow the SOLD SIGN goes up. By November I'm gone. Hooray!

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  2. I say start packing too. Your house has been sold.

    Love all the funnies. My favorite was the first one. The curlers are on the house.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul. 😎

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomorrow the SOLD SIGN goes up. By November I'm gone. Hooray!

      Delete
  3. I have my fingers and legs crossed Pauleo but I think Sande eis right :-)

    It's been very hot here the last few days and very uncomfortable thank gawd it's cooling down from tomorrow

    I liked all the jokes just watch it when you walk into a bar LOL ;-)

    Have a tanfastical safe weekend Lockdown Pauleo 😷😷😷

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steveo, tomorrow the SOLD SIGN goes up. By November I'm gone. Hooray!

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  4. Paul, I don't wish to make a long comment with that recipe. Would you share your email please? My email is in my profile. I'll send the recipe. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've sent you an email Peg and thanks. Oh by the way, tomorrow the SOLD SIGN goes up. By November I'm gone. Hooray!

      Delete
  5. Congrats on selling the house. Time to start packing to shift to the new house.

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    Replies
    1. Everything is finished Nancy except to start moving stuff away.

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  6. Thanks for the laughs, and sorry i am so late catching up. Enjoy your new place!

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    Replies
    1. You're not late Mimi. You're never late for me. Thanks.

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Thanks for commenting!