Saturday Morning

Well Guess what? It's Saturday. I had a weird week. Wednesday night my nose started to bleed and I couldn't stop it. The ambulance was called, they took me to the hospital and it was crazy. I was there for 7 hours. The doctor checked me for 5 minutes after 3 hours. They didn't have enough people working so I was alone for hours. When the doctor finally came back for hours, he asked if I had had my blood checked. I said no body came. OK, it doesn't matter . I doesn't matter, you told me they were going to check my blood. He than shoved this thing up my nose so far the pain was unbelievable. Finally I could go home. It was 4:00am. I had to go back on Friday to have that thing out of my nose. That took another 6 hours. I know the hospitals have problems with Covid but I had to wait until to take the out and I could have pulled it out myself. Confusion reigns in hospitals today.

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"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!" "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old. "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00!"

 

    An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

 

When is a retiree's bedtime? Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

 

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Cruisin Paul