Good evening everyone. Carol here is the picture of the gazebo I plan on buying. 

Out table and six chairs will fit under this gazebo. The painter came to do his job but wouldn't do it because the ceiling wasn't finished so they had to go and get the other man. He was here today and finished and now we have to wait again for the painter. There are so many other problems around this NEW home, yes it's suppose to be a NEW home. I'm just thinking, should I see my lawyer?

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A man died one day and his wife went to the funeral home to make the necessary arrangements. The funeral home director asked her if there's anything she thinks her husband would have wished for his funeral.

"Actually there is something", she said. "We've always had this plan that one day we'll travel together to Italy and he would get one of those beautiful custom tailored black silk suits that only the best tailors from Milan can make. Since he was always busy and we never had this opportunity I'd really like to fulfill this one last thing for him." "Okay", says the director. "I have some connections. I will do my best."

The day of the funeral comes and the deceased is wearing a perfect black silk suit during the viewing. It's everything his wife could have hoped for so afterwards she goes to the funeral director and tells him how touched she was and if he could tell her how much everything is going to cost.

"Actually I am not going to charge you anything for the suit.", he says. "Sometimes things just work out in life like that. Shortly after we spoke last time before the funeral another woman who lost her husband came in. Her husband was the exact same age and build as your husband, and he was wearing a black silk suit just as you described. I asked his wife what he would have liked to be dressed in for the ceremony but she said that he wasn't particular about clothes and she brought in a few of his other suits in various colors so I can better match it with the casket and the rest of the ceremony. So for me it really was no trouble at all! Since her husband was already dressed in the suit that your husband would have wanted I just swapped their heads."

 

  

I was with a funeral director, planning my final arrangements. He asked me if I wanted to have a family viewing prior to the services.

I told him "Remains to be seen."

 

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“The total cost would be $5000,” said the funeral director, “and that includes digging of the grave.”

Me: Is that the whole thing?

Him: Yes, that’s the hole thing.

             

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4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

 

 

 

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Cruisin Paul