It's Saturday, the sun is out and I'm wide awake.  Good morning friends. Yesterday was a weird day. After a storm during the night, my daughter noticed that the phones weren't working. After calling Bell  ( we do have a cell phone ) and having two men working on the phones, finally they decided to have a person to come over later that day to  check on what's going on. After we hung up suddenly all the phones worked. Weird! This new area that we lived in is just crazy. On Monday we are having the painter come in to do the ceiling downstairs. It's now going on 5 weeks with this mess and my daughter hasn't slept in her new bed that she bought. One other crazy thing, my wife went down and tried to start cleaning. There is so much white dust around the place. The guys said that they would be cleaning up before they leave. Well they left and the place is a mess. I'm going crazy around here. I plan on taking my vaccine0 shot next week. At least there is one good thing going on. Maybe?

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My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

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I'll never forget what my grandfather said to me right before he kicked the bucket.

"Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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An old couple gets pulled over and...

Lady cop - "May I see you license and registration sir?"

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "She needs to see you license and registration dear."

**The old man hands it to the lady cop and...**

Lady cop - "Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had."

Old man - "ugh, what did she say?"

Old wife - "Nothing dear, She thinks she used to know you."

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I was talking to my grandfather

When he said
"your generation relies too much on technology"
I then said
" no grandpa yours does"
Then I unplugged his life support.

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My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

 

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A grandfather sits flustered in his workshop unable to recall where he left his toolbox. He calls over his grandson and asks him, "son, what's the name of the German that keeps stealing my tools?!"

"Alzheimers granddad, Alzheimers."

 

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Cruisin Paul