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Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me.'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject t o blackouts. Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends.
But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Two senior citizens are pushing their carts around Walmart, looking left and right, when they collided head-on.
The first guy says to the second guy,"Sorry about that.
I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too.
I can’t find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her.
What does she look like?"
"Well, she is 23 yrs old, beautiful tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, large breasts, enjoys sex and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
"She can wait. Let's look for yours."
THEY FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!
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PAST CRUISE PHOTO
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Well that's it for now. Have a wonderful Wednesday by friends.
SEE YA.
Loved all the jokes and especially that last one.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day Paul. ☺
I used to enjoy watching Zorro! Great young, sexy wife joke!
ReplyDeleteI hate the Christmas ads already on TV and stuff in the stores.
ReplyDeleteThat is one beautiful girl in the short-shorts, Paul.
These were great, Paul, thanks for the cheer! :) Hope your day and week are wonder filled. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree it's the same here in the shops arrgh!
ReplyDeleteLOL @ the jokes especially the last one LOL
Nice photo all that lovely blue :-)
Have a tanfastic day Paul :-)
Haha. Nice zorro comics :)
ReplyDelete