Saturday, October 31, 2015

Halloween Saturday































BOO! Good scary Saturday morning everyone. Yes, it's Halloween and the little monsters will be out later on this evening. Unfortunately it seems that it will be raining when it's time to come and get there goodies. WE still have goodies for the little ones but as every year goes on, it seems there is less and less of them. When I first moved into my castle, the first Halloween we had over 100 children but last year we only had 50 of the little monsters and princesses. I guess there will be more for me to enjoy later.
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Chiseling with Fear

Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and
decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for
laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were
startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty
shadows.

Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and
chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his
breath. "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a
ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"My family are such fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my
name and here I have to correct it!"


Two Nuns and a Mini Dracula
Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Mary Agnes, "What should we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water before we left the Vatican," replies Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Mary Agnes.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Mary Vincent.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Mary Agnes. She then opens the window and shouts, "Get the hell off our car!"


A Creepy Tale from a Vienna Graveyard

Chris Cross, a tourist in Vienna, is going passed Vienna's Zentralfriedhof graveyard on October 31st.  All of a sudden he hears some music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.  Chris finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades Tim Burr, a friend, to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.  By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"

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PUMPKIN HORRORS












 


















































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 BOO!

Well my friends it's time to go again. Enjoy your Halloween and don't be frightened. Ha,ha,ha.
 
 

5 comments:

  1. Haha...I especially liked the nuns joke. Happy Halloween, Paul.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  2. Funny and scary jokes. The pumpkins look very scary except the one with two little kittens inside it. I like it!

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  3. Loved all the jokes. Happy Halloween my friend. Your joke on my site this morning is a hit. Thanks. ☺

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  4. The mooning joke and the kittens in the pumpkin are my favourites today, Paul! LOL! Happy Halloween to you. :)

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  5. Those pumpkin carvings are incredible. The Nun joke really cracked me up. Nuthin' crosser than a cross Nun

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Thanks for commenting!