Monday, September 30, 2019

Monday Before My Birthday

Good morning everyone. I'm getting excited for tomorrow. I'm turning 70 years old tomorrow and you ask why is it exciting? I'm not  going to repeat my story. You're problem bored about what happened to me but all I can say is, WOW, I made it.
My wife is taking me to my favorite place to eat, "Riccardo's "  It has wonderful Italian food and it sits near the river. We'll probably take a walk along the river after dinner or probably sitting watching the boats passing by.

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 This won't happen to us. Riccardo's only uses Marinara sauce
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Miss Manners

A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, "If you were my husband, I'd poison your drink." The man replies, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

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Weed Out

After sex, a lot of people like to smoke a cigarette. As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. After all, in the bible it says "if a man lies with another man, he should be stoned."

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Humorous Moment

A cop pulls over a car. He walks up to the car, the driver lowers his window and a cloud of weed smoke pours out.  The cop looks at the driver and notices his eyes are as red as a stop sign. The cop then asks the driver, "How high are you?
The driver laughs and says, No officer, it's Hi, How are you...

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Viagra Heist

Q: Did you hear about the crooks who stole a truckload of Viagra?
A: Police issued an APB for hardened criminals.
A: The Judge will likely impose a stiff sentence.

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Condoms for My Camels

There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom. She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said, "What brand of condoms to you prefer ma'am. "She said, "I'm not sure, they're for my Camels," at which point he fainted.

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     " Have A Very Beautiful Day My Friends. See Ya. "




Cruisin Paul
 

12 comments:

  1. ♪♫Happy Birthday to you,♪♫
    ♪♫Happy Birthday to you,♪♫
    ♪♫Happy Birthday Dear Paul,♪♫
    ♪♫Happy Birthday to you.♪♫

    Love all the funnies.

    I know you'll have a great birthday dinner. I love Italian food too.

    Have a fabulous day and birthday, Paul. 😎

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  2. Happy happy Birthday Paul. I don't know what happened to you but we're all glad you are here and made 70.
    Enjoy Ricardo's. Sound perfect to me.
    Happy Birthday!!

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    Replies
    1. Peg, I'm so happy that I was able to make 70. Now I'm going for 80.

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  3. Wishing you many, many happy returns of the day, and a lovely time tomorrow!

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  4. Happy and blessed birthday to you, Paul! Wishing you good health!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Nancy and I hope that my health continues.

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  5. A very Happy 70th Birthday Pauleo I hope you have a wonderful day and a lovely dinner and enjoy the walk and the boats

    My best wishes from London :-)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you my friend. I never thought that I would know anyone from England but I have two people that I know, you Steveo and John Heald ( Carnival Cruise lines Grand Ambassador) See ya.

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  6. Have a great birthday Paul. Your posts bring a smile to my face.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Rhonda. I would like to see that smile.

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Thanks for commenting!