Sunday, March 7, 2021

 Good morning my good friends. It's still cold but next week it's suppose to warm up. The man is finished downstairs and now the painter has to come and finish his job. All of this was to be finished before we even got into this home but because of stupid jobs, we now have to get it done. 

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square. The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'." Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well ...?" She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38" DD bust, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, everybody says, "Oh My God."

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A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knocking' mate, there's no paper in this one either."

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Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

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A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."

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Cruisin Paul


 
 

8 comments:

  1. It's good to hear the repairs are being done, i am just angry and sad on your behalf that they have to be done at all.

    Thanks for the giggles!

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    1. Well Mimi, I totally agree with you. Don't get angry. It isn't worth it. I've decided not to get angry. That's just the way things are today I guess. Thanks for your help my friend.

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  2. Glad to know that the work has been done and that everything is in order now.

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    1. Thank you Nancy. It's people like you, Mimi, Steveo and Peg that give me strength.

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  3. At least your now getting there Pauleo glad to see things are miving forward at last, when this sort of thing happens you need a lot of patience arrgh! :-)

    I enjoyed the jokes Pauleo gave me some titters heheh!

    Have a patienttastic safe week I have added you to my linky so your now officially a linkypop 👍 😷😷😷

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    1. Thank you my friend. Yes, I agree with you Steveo that I need a great deal of patience today with the builders. They are useless turds but I guess they are my turds. LOL

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  4. loved all your cartoons - smiling is the best way to start a day

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    1. Thank you Carol. I totally agree with you,smiling is the best way to start a day and I trying to smile throughout my day. Thanks for stopping by.

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Thanks for commenting!