Brightt Sunny Saturday

Well good morning everyone. I hope that you are wide awake and ready to go for another day? My day today is to keep warm even though this week it's suppose to warm up in the 30's. Wow, the 30's. Anything is better than in the minus numbers. My friends Rick & Sheila will be arriving home in Illinois after a wonderful cruise on the Carnival Breeze. In 2007 when Mary Lou & I took our first cruise we met Rick & Shelia. They were our dinner companions with another couple who lived in Michigan but unfortunately that couple didn't keep in chance. Here is our first dinner group on the Carnival Legend.

Rick & Sheila are the couple that sat right across from Mary Lou & I. I remember Rick would have a martini with four olives every night for dinner. I'll email Rick tonight to see how they made out on their cruise.

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Saturday's Funnies

Two old people, a man and a woman, walk into a hospital. The doctor says to the old man: "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample!"
The old man says: "What?"
So the doctor yells it: "I need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample!"
With that the old woman turns to the old man and says: "He needs a pair of your underwear!"

 
Memory

An old man says to the doctor: “Doctor, I lost my memory!”
Doctor: “When did this start?”
The old man: “When did what start!”

An eighty year old man was sitting on the couch with his wife when she said to him, "Why don't you come sit close to me like you used to." So he did. After a moment she said, "Why don't you put your arm around me like you used to." He put his arm around her and held her tight. Then she said,"Why don't you nibble on my ear like you used to." The man got up and left the room. "Where are you going?" she called out. "To get my teeth," he replied.

Granny and the Cop.

An elderly couple were driving across the country.  The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"  The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"  The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"  The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?"  The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!"  The woman gave the officer her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."  The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"  And the old man yells, "He said he knows you!"

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Past Cruise Photo

  This is the back pool on the Carnival Liberty. During that day we had had some rain and wind so they closed the top. Here is the same pool with the top off.

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That's it for now. Have a wonderful Saturday's and we'll see you tomorrow. See ya.

Weird Friday Morning

This is the type of morning I got up to, snow & fog. It's weird but as the sun came up, the fog disappeared. It was very cold last night. The weatherman said it was -5 F last night. Mary Lou & I went outside last night to shovel the snow off of the driveway. Then the rest of the evening was for us, playing some pool, and watching TV. 
Today, AmyLynn has her horse riding and I have lunch with Dan. 

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Friday's Funnies

Snow Plow

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it.
As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprise when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time.
She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the WalMart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.

Blonde Snow Joke

On a bitterly cold winter morning a husband and wife in Winnipeg were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow plows can get through. "
So the good wife went out and moved her car....
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park
your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through. "
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must
park...."
Then the electric power went out.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just
leave the bloody car in the garage this time."

   Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

 This last picture is telling how I feel around here. SNOW, get the H**L out of here. I'm tired of it.

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Past Cruise Photos

 
This is Panama City. We took a train ride from the Caribbean to the Pacific. We were on the Carnival Freedom. We had the chance of seeing some locks. Here are a couple of them.

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My friend Al just skyped me from Calgary. He was wearing his brand new cowboy hat. He's very happy. They arrived late and didn't get into their hotel until 2:00 in the morning. Meilin looks tired. Al had the opportunity to visit with a cousin he hadn't seen for over 30 years. That was very interesting but a happy time for all. He'll be skyping back later. That's it for now. Have a great day friends. See ya.

 

 

 

Gray Thursday

Though it's gray outside, I feel like it's a beautiful day. I don't know why, I just feel that way. Isn't that weird? Well, Al & Meilin got their flight and they are in Alberta. Last night mary Lou & I played pool and she's a tough opponent. Usually I go to lunch with my cousin Dan, but today he ahs to bring a friend to the airport so he called and said what about Friday? Well of course Friday so...................
Today, there isn't much going on.
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Thursday's Funnies

I've sure gotten old. I've had two By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.

But.....Thank God, I still have my Florida driver's license!

Wedding Anniversary

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"

 

What was its name?

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"

Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember.

Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?" 

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Past Cruise Photo

    This the " Mad Hatter's Ball " room where the comedy corner was at on the Carnival Miracle.

                             Same room but having Mary Lou in it. See the heart chair.
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Guess what? The sun just came out. I said it was beautiful today didn't I?  See ya.

Exciting Wednesdayc

Yesterday I received the final papers from the lawyer dealing with my mother's estate. After 14 months, finally things will be done. Now my mother can really rest. There will be minor things that have to be done, paying the lawyer, the accountant and the paying of the taxes and after that I can finally rest myself. Praise the Lord.


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Wednesday's Funnies

Wife helps out the cop

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

Stupid blonde driver

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

A blonde detective

A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 second and then hides it.

"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his PROFILE."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

He quickly adds "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

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Past Cruise Photo

      This photo was of course at Grand Turk, the FlowRider. These two men were reall pros showing the people what can be done. Later real people took place and of course the regular people were falling into the water many times. 

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Well thats it for today. The jokes for today were for Sandee, Zane and all of my friends who are policemen & policewomen. These are the real Supermen and Superwomen who protect  us , no matter what takes place. Thank you all. See ya until tomorrow.

 

BrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrTuesday

This photo is a map of the Caribbean. A former high school teacher that I really enjoyed travelled a great deal around the world after retiring from teaching. One day she showed me a map that showed where she had traveled so I thought, I want to do that. So I found a map of the Caribbean, had it blown up and every port that I had been to I marked it with a red dot. It's on the wall in my pool room and when friends come down to play pool, they always check the map. I really enjoy seeing where my wife & I have on our cruises.

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Tuesday's Funnies

Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man

Ladies Night Out

Two women friends had gone out for a Ladies Night Out, and had been alittle overly-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Horribly drunk, while walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend, however, was wearing an expensive set of undergarments and didn’t want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they staggered their way home.
The next day the first woman’s husband phones the other husband and said, “These damn ladies nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.” “That’s nothing,” said the other husband. “My wife came home with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the fire station, we’ll never forget you!’

- See more at: http://www.funnyandjokes.com/ladies-night-out.html#sthash.uimOBaE3.dpuf

The Lady's Tee

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the Crookhorn municipal golf course, England and I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualising my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse tannoy:
'WOULD THE GENTLEMAN ON THE WOMAN'S TEE BACK UP TO THE MEN'S TEE PLEASE.'
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement rang out louder', Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the men's tee.'
I simply ignored the request and kept concentrating, when once more, the man yelled', Would the man on the woman's tee back up to the men's tee, PLEASE.'
I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the microphone and shouted back', Would the person in the clubhouse kindly stop shouting and let me play my second shot'An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.” Patient: “OH NO! That’s awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???” Doctor: “You also have Alzheimer s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.”An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Well, give me the bad news first.” Doctor: “You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.” Patient: “OH NO! That’s awefull! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???” Doctor: “You also have Alzheimer s. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.”
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man

Confession. .

An elderly man goes into the confessional and tells the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, married, have four kids and eleven grandchildren.
Last night I had an affair and made love to two eighteen year old girls. I did it twice with each of them!”
The priest replies, “Well my son, when was the last time you were in confession?”
“Never Father, I’m Jewish.”
“So why are you telling me?” Asks the priest.
“Are you kidding,” exclaims the old man, “I’m telling everybody!”

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Past Cruise Photo

 

 
                                                The Piano Bar on the Carnival Dream

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Soon I'll be discussing my next years cruise with my travel agent Nancy. Being in this freezing temperatures, heavy snow and being depressed without the heat and sun, these cruise photos help me each day and I can't wait until to the day that I can walk on the Breeze in Miami hearing the horn that would tell me that we are moving to begin our cruise. 
Have a great day everyone. See ya until tomorrow. 

Sunny ( Cold ) Monday

I wanted to place a photo of spring to make us all feel that spring is coming soon. ( I can't wait ) As I look out my window, all that I see is white but when I turn to my screen, I see color. I'd rather have color.
Last night Al & Meilin were over and Al asked me if we would be willing to take him and Meilin to the airport next week. They are going to Vancouver to visit his mother. She's in her middle 90's and they hadn't seen her for such a long time and at the same time it will be Al's birthday. He'll be 70. It will be a big party. Al told me that when he stops off in Calgary, he wants to buy some cowboy materals, hats and shirts. Hehaw.He does look good in the hats. I have a cowboy hat that my dad picked up in Houston, Texas awhile ago and he bought for me. It's a beautiful hat but I'm not sure if I look good in it.

 This is the cowboy hat and my grandson, Braeden is wearing it. To me he looks better then I would ever look good in it. 

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Monday's Funnies

At the public pool
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool."Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?

An Amish father and his boy were visiting a mall. They were amazed by everything, but especially amazed by two shiny silver walls that could open and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is it, Father?" (not ever seen an elevator before) "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I do not know what it is." While the father and son were watching in amazement, a heavy set, not too attractive, elderly lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed the button. The shiny walls opened and the lady walked into the small room. The walls closed and they watched the small numbers above the wall light up sequentially. It reached the last number and then came all the way back down. The walls opened up and out stepped a beautiful young woman.The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother."

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Have a first child

 Past Cruise Photo

                 This one of the characters in the Comedy Corner on the Carnival Dream.
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Well, we're done for another blog day my friends. Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow. See ya.

Have a first child

Have a first child