Rainy Thursday

That's how I feel this morning. It's been  raining throughout the night, my ankle is killing me and I need another cup of coffee. Today I go have therapy and after that I have lunch with my cousin Dan. Not much going on today. I checked with my travel agent Nancy and she informed me that the flights are still to expensive to Miami so we'll wait until until she returns from Europe and hopefully the flights will go down in June. Next thing I have to do is find our excursions for our cruise. The one I want is the one in St. Kitt. We'll see.

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Thursday's Funnies

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sigh of relief.

One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No." This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist

 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray,
 “Take only one. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, “Take all you want.
God is watching the apples.”

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Thursday's Poem

 

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Past Cruise Photos

   " Ship On A Stick " This is what they give when you win something on the ship. Everyone wants one. This ship is worth only $0.89 but it is a treasure that every guest would love to have. I have three of them in 9 years. Not bad.

    The man in blue is the Cruise Director. He's involving everyone in a dance while the ship leaves the port on our cruise.

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                             That's it for now but as I usually do here is something special.

                                                                   SEE YA,

Beautiful Wednesday

Good morning friends. The sun is bright this morning and I'm feeling much better though my ankle is still very sore. The dandelions have started to come out on the lawns. Some of my neighbours do a great job in taking care of them but there are some around us just let go which makes it a problem for us that try to have a green. green lawn. Oh well, that's life.

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Wednesday's Funnies

Nervous Dad Joke

“Just relax”, the hospital staff kept telling Jim, but it was to no avail. Jim’s wife was in labor and Jim was a nervous wreck. After what seemed like a week, to both Jim and the hospital staff, a nurse came out with the happy news, “it’s a girl”, she cried. “Thank God, a girl”, said Jim, “at least she won’t have to go through what I just went through!”

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not
been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant
about all the new technology. A technician followed her
onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking
machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate
to be hooked up to that thing," she said.
"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning
machine."

Frog Noises

A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room.
"Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, "as soon as grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said his grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!"

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Wednesday Poem

 

 

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Past Cruise Photos

                                                  Enjoying a ride while in Cozumal, Mexico.

                                                                  At the dock in Belize.

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All finished for today. Have a wonderful Wednesday but remember, friends are important.

                                                                           SEE YA.

Beautiful Lawn Monday

What a beautiful Monday morning this is. Good morning friends and I hope that you are enjoying your best cup of java?  Looking out of my window I see a beautiful green lawn. Yesterday Mary Lou after bringing Emily there and back to her birthday party, she cut the lawn and what a great job she did. I think that April finally has arrived. By the end of the week the temperatures should be around the 70's. Finally!

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Monday's Funnies

Toilet Humour

 
2 Blokes (Japanese and American) are playing golf. The Japanese guy is getting ready to tee off and suddenly starts talking to his thumb.

American bloke says: "What you doin?"

"Oh, don't worry, with Microtechnology I have a Microphone in my thumb. I was just recording a message."

The 2 men carry on golfing, but all of a sudden the American man makes a funny sound, that amazingly sounds like a fart. The Japanese man looks over at him. 'Oh,' says the American. "Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax."

A Romantic Moment?

It was Valentine’s Day. Diana was feeling romantic but her husband, Harvey, was away from home at a business conference, so she sent him a text message:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
Harvey, a typical down-to-earth, non -romantic male, replied,
 
"I am on the toilet. Please advise."

Toilet Joke...

A man walks into a toilet store and asks the manager, "Can I buy a toilet?"
The manager says, "Of course, we have three, a wooden toilet, a metal toilet, and a singing toilet."
The man replies, "I'll take the wooden toilet."
Later, another man walks in and says to the manager, "Sir, I'd like to buy a toilet."
The manager replies, we have two left: a metal toilet and a singing toilet."
The man says, "I'll take the metal toilet."
Later, another man walks in and says, "Sir, I'd like to buy a toilet."
The manager says, "Sorry but we have one left and it is a singing toilet."
The man says, "I'll take it."
Later, all three of the previous men who bought toilets are back.
The first one says, "Sir, I do not like this toilet because everytime I sit, I get splinters in my butt."
The second says, "Sir, I dont like this toilet because it makes my man parts too cold."
And the third guy says, "Yeah? Well I don't like my toilet because everytime I sit down it sings, Do You See What I See?"

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Monday's Poem

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Past Cruise Photos

                          I'm standing next to John Glenn ( not the real one ) in Grand Turk.

                          I always loved St. Thomas. There was so much to do and see.

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                            Well that's it for now except this.........................................................

                                                                       SEE YA.

Warmer Sunday

Good morning to you all. Yes, the sun is brilliant outside and the temperature is now rising up slowly but surely. I spoke to my friend Al and he's thinking about becoming a member at Pointe West but just to visit and eat dinner and other small things but he can't play golf. He wanted to know if I was interested and I said if I can't play golf it would be a waste of time.  Oh well.

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Sunday's Funnies

The Power of Woman

There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.
They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.
No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.
When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

Commanded By Wife

God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.”
With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was 100 miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man.
God got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”
And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

                 

                  

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Sunday's Poem

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Past Cruise Photos

 Grand Turk, The Carnival Breeze ( my ship ) the other one Erodam. I think.

 Downtown San Juan, Puerto Rico

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My daughter asked me what I was cooking for dinner today. She always asks me everyday. I said fish and vegetables. Her answer was " wonderful dad ". Fish it will be. Have a wonderful Sunday friends.

SEE YA.

 

Improving Saturday

Guess what? The sun is out a second day. Wow! Good morning everyone. Yesterday I received a card from Pointe West Golf Course asking me if I wanted to join but not I wouldn't be able to golf. Why in the heck would I want to do that. I enjoy golfing. I guess sitting there, eating & drinking might make you feel like a golfer but not me. I want to swing that club, hit that little white ball & seeing it drop into the hole. 

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Saturday's Funnies

 Slide Under The Table

 A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."

Male assertiveness

 A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife. 

Coming home late

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”
His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, ‘You as horny as I am?’ . . . and, she always acts like she’s sound asleep!”

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Past Cruise Photos

                                                   Going down the river in Costa Rica.

                                                                Colon, Panama

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Saturday's Poem

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I'm for a coffee break or two. Have a wonderful Saturday my friends and as I say...........................

                                                            
                                                                             SEE YA.