Hi there everyone. Can you believe it? This weekend the temperatures will be in the 40's and 50's with sunshine. In over a month, it will be Spring.
A
father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the
condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different
boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack?
That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1
for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''
The
father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2
for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The
father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one
for January, one for February, one for March, one for... ''
Stolen Fruit
Mary was taken before the judge accused of theft, and he asked her, 'What
did you steal?'
'A small can of peaches,' Mary replied, weeping.
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the peaches, and she replied
that she was hungry.
The judge then inquired, 'And how many peaches were in the can?'
Mary
answered, 'Only 6 small pieces.'
The judge harshly announced, 'Then I will give you 6 days in jail.' But
before the judge could finish pronouncing the punishment, the woman's
husband, Derek, interrupted and asked the judge if he could say something?
The judge, slightly annoyed asked, 'And what have you to say in your
wife's defence?'
Derek spoke clearly, 'She also stole a large can of
peas.'
Big Eric
One day, Dave, the bus driver, was in his bus when the
biggest man he had ever seen got on. The giant looked at the driver and
growled, 'Big Eric doesn't
pay'
, and took his seat.
Dave was
only a little man and he didn't
really want to argue.
This happened for several days. After a
week, Dave was beginning to get a little angry. Everybody else paid, so
why not the big man?
So Dave went to
the gym and started a course of body-building. He didn't
want to be frightened of Big Eric any longer.
Eight weeks later the driver had strong muscles and was feeling very fit.
At
the usual stop, Big Eric
got on. 'Big Eric doesn't
pay'
, he barked; but this time Dave was prepared for him. He stood up,
shaking slightly, and said between clenched teeth, 'Oh, yeah? And why
doesn't
Big Eric pay?'
'Because Big Eric
has got a bus pass', the man replied.
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Well that's it for today. This sun is so beautiful and warm. Enjoy your day my good friends.
SEE YA.
I can always count on you for a laugh to start my day, Paul. Have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteWe are on our boat having our morning coffee. The sun is shining and the marina is beautiful. We are having a great day.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes.
Have a fabulous weekend my friend. ☺
It's freezing here at the moment arrghh!
ReplyDeleteI can concur with the hot flushes haha! loved the jokes Paul
Have a tanfabuloustastic Saturday :-)
Hahaha...thanks for all the chuckles!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...
While i may not get to them until after work, your Saturday chuckles make my day!
ReplyDeleteLove the new header! Good for you!
ReplyDelete