Saturday, April 25, 2015

Improving Saturday

Guess what? The sun is out a second day. Wow! Good morning everyone. Yesterday I received a card from Pointe West Golf Course asking me if I wanted to join but not I wouldn't be able to golf. Why in the heck would I want to do that. I enjoy golfing. I guess sitting there, eating & drinking might make you feel like a golfer but not me. I want to swing that club, hit that little white ball & seeing it drop into the hole. 

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Saturday's Funnies

 Slide Under The Table

 A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."


Male assertiveness

 A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife. 


Coming home late
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”
His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, ‘You as horny as I am?’ . . . and, she always acts like she’s sound asleep!”

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Past Cruise Photos

                                                   Going down the river in Costa Rica.

                                                                Colon, Panama

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Saturday's Poem

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I'm for a coffee break or two. Have a wonderful Saturday my friends and as I say...........................
                                                            
                                                                             SEE YA.


5 comments:

  1. Joining a golf course but not golf is like joining a yacht club without owning a yacht. Some people just like having bragging rights.

    "The funeral director"....that joke cracks me up.

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  2. Well what a strange invite sort of "You can join our golf club but leave our balls alone"...charming LOL

    I laughed at the jokes and that poor pencil haha!

    Nice photos especially the river in Costa Rica such a pleasant difference to the Thames here heheh! :-)

    Enjoy ya coffee and have a fantabulosa weekend :-)

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  3. The pencil and pencil sharpener was hilarious, and the poem and photos are lovely!

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  4. I'm glad you're getting some good weather Paul. About time.

    Loved all the jokes.

    Yes, being at a yacht club without a boat isn't all that fun. I'm guessing it's the same for the golf club. What's the point.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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  5. The funeral director...for sure!

    Happy sunny Sunday. Big hugs, honey...

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Thanks for commenting!