Thursday, August 17, 2017

Rainy Thursday

Good morning my good friends from everywhere. I'm feeling much better after my tip to Toronto, Ontario. I enjoyed it so much that I'll be going back to Toronto to visit St. Michael's Hospital. Oh how wonderful. I'm joking. I think I only thing that I enjoyed was sitting in a chair on the 27th floor on the Chelsea Hotel viewing the Toronto skyline. It was beautiful. I could see far out into Lake Ontario almost seeing Niagara Falls ( not really ).

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A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, "I had tolio as a child." The wife asks if he means polio. He says, "No, it only affects the toes." He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, "I had kneesles, too." Finally, he pulls off his boxers. In shock, the woman gasps, "Oh no...smallcox, too!"

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A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, "Do you have a Vagina?" She slams the door again. Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just incase this guy shows up again." The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whisperes to the wife, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he's going with this." She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, "Do you have a Vagina?" "Yes I do." says the lady. The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!" 


A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?” The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then confessed. “Yes. Yes he did.” The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks “Who? Who was he? Who was the father?” Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says, “You.”


 A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."

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Well that's it for today. I hope you all enjoy the day.

  
                                " SEE YA " 


                              " Cruisin Paul " 

10 comments:

  1. Love all the memes, especially the dog helping the mechanic.

    Glad you are back home again.

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    1. Thanks Jean. By the way, when are you writing your blog? I keep checking each day and your blog hasn't moved. I miss it.

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  2. Loved the kitty the best. I laughed out loud.

    Have a fabulous day, Paul. ☺

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    1. I'm so happy that I was able to make you laugh Sandee.

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  3. I am glad you liked it so much that your going back LMAO NOT

    It's been miserable here too rain as usual LOL

    Loved the jokes haha that cat is very nosy LOL and did one of that couple fart in the end do you know? LOL

    Have a rainytastic day Pauleo :-)

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    1. It rained twice today and we're happy getting it. Farts are a way to release when you are upset. It makes me laugh. What does it do for you Steveo?

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  4. So glad you are home and all is well. That baby picture is hysterical!

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  5. Some great pictures today. Love the babies hat. And I don't feel too sorry for the cat.

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  6. Cute dog mechanic! Oh no, poor kitty. Please someone open the door for kitty. Have a fantastic weekend!

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Thanks for commenting!