Thursday Before Cruise

Today will be my last blog until I return from my cruise. Tomorrow I'll be busy doing things in preparation for the cruise as well as getting things done around the house and getting into Delta to arrange our boarding passes as well as paying for our luggage. It's nuts where we have to pay for the luggage. You no longer get anything from the airlines other then flying and even that is tight.  I do agree with John Heald, the CD and grand Ambassador for Carnival where he says that you can receive a great deal on a cruise as compared with hotels and airlines. Oh well, that's life.

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Thursday's Funnies

Passengers aboard an elegant cruise yacht were having a great party when a beautiful young girl fell overboard. Immediately there was an 80-year-old man in the water who rescued her. The sailors pulled them both out of the treacherous waters. The captain was grateful as well as astonished that the old man performed such an act of bravery. And that night a luxurious banquet was given in honor of the cruise yacht’s elderly hero. He was called forward to receive an award and was asked to say a few words. He said, “First of all, I’d like to know who pushed me!”

 
A blond walks by a travel agency and spots a small sign in the window, “Cruise Special — $99.99! “So she goes inside, slaps her cash on the counter and says, “I’d like the $99.99 cruise special, please.”
The agent says, “Yes, ma’am,” grabs her body, drags her backward into the back room, ties her backside unto a large bubbly inner tube. He pulls her out the back, rolls her downhill to the raging river bank. There he pushes blondie in and sends her bobbling down the rough river.
A second blond comes by minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her purse, and pays for the $99.99 cruise special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent adrift down the river.
Drifting into stronger current, she catches up with the even blonder blond. They float side by side for a while before the second blond giggles and asks, “Do they serve cocktails on this cruise?” The first blond stops applying fresh lipstick and replies, “They didn’t last year.

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Well that's it for now. Have a wonderful Thursday and the 8 days that I won't be with you. When I return, I write about my cruise with photos. Until then, See ya.

 

Wednesday Before Cruisin

This is the large pool in Grand Turk I plan on sitting at this pool this year if I can a sit. Usually, my the time I got there before, the place was loaded with people. It will all depend on how many ships are there.
Yesterday I received a phone call from the lawyer. I have to go and spend some time with him today. It sort of tells me that finally my mother's estate is to completed after more then a year. Finally. Now I can go on my cruise with an easy feeling in my system. I really need this vacation.
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Wednesday's Poem

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Wednesday's Funnies

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her,   support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked, with beer....

A man walks into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.

So the owner of the shop goes in the back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on,

the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65, 000."

"No problem! I'll write you a check!"

"Very good, sir." says the shop owner.

"Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared."

So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!"

"I just had to come by," grinned the guy, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

                           

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All done for today. My luggage is just about filled. In other words, I'm ready to go. My married daughter phoned last night and she informed us that they would like to leave about 2:00 pm Friday afternoon . Her & her husband are taking us to our hotel. It seems that it may snow and they would like to get there early. I'm ready one way or another. Cruisin, cruisin, cruisn. Have a great Wednesday everyone. See ya.

Tuesday Before Cruisin

Good morning everyone, well at least Bee & Sandee my wonderful friends. Yes, it's only three more days before I go over and stay at the Fairfield Inn near the airport and the Saturday I'm gone to Orlando to go to Port Canaveral to go on the Carnival Liberty. I'm not that excited. Just feeling normal, not expecting any thing different then every other day. Who are you kidding Paul? 
Today is pool day with Gerry who is are leaving for a vacation. He's leaving on Thursday to spend a week in Cuba. Maybe some day if Carnival goes there I might get there. I've begun placing my clothes in the luggage and I did change a few things after my friend Bee commented and helped me decide how many pieces of clothing I should put in. She just wrote, plan lightly and I'll try.

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Tuesday's Funnies

   A young married woman was discussing her sex life with a girlfriend.
   The girlfriend asked, "Do you talk to your husband when you're making
   love ?"
   
   She thought about it a minute then said, "Well, no. But I could. I
   mean he has a cell phone and all now."

 Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck
   inside of her.
   "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to
   perform a very long and delicate operation."
   "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace
   the batteries?"

   The young widow was kneeling at her husband's grave tending to the
   weeds, when she felt the grass rustle beneath her skirt. She smiled
   and said "Easy sweetheart, you're dead now ya know."

Ugly person illness

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely
 person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so 
depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near 
me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" 



"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."  

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Well I'm done for the day. Have a wonderful day everyone. See ya.

Monday Before Cruising

 Bonaire, the island I never been there. I hope it's worth it.

Here is a picture of the Caribbean of where I'll be next week. I start at Port Canaveral  and sail to Aruba off the shore of Venezuela. You'll notice the three island, Aruba, Bonaire & Curacao, called the ABC islands. My original cruise was to go to Aruba, then Curacao but Carnival changed it to Aruba & Bonaire. I really wanted to go to Curacao but oh well. After Bonaire we will sail back and the stop in Grand Turk, Turks & Caicos and finally back to Port Canaveral and flying home to Detroit and finally back home to lovely Amherstburg.

                                                                                                                                                        

Monday's Funnies

 

St. Peter Asks the Blondes About Easter

Three blondes die and go to St. Peter. He says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven."

He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey."

St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?"

She answers, "That's the time of year when the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents."

St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?"

She says, "That's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock."

"That's right!" exclaims St. Peter.

"Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter."

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That's about it for today. I have to get on the phone with a few people before I go on my cruise. See ya until tomorrow. See ya.

Sunday, Sunday

Good morning people. Six days to go and I'll be on the Carnival Liberty. OK, I'll stop for awhile writing about you know what. Today is playoff football Sunday and I'll be watching the two games on my 70 inch TV or maybe downstairs playing some pool while  I watch the game on my 49 inch TV. Wow am I lucky man. 

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Sunday's Funnies

Beautiful?

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

A Beautiful Blonde  Loves Growing Tomatoes

A beautiful blonde loves to garden, but can't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. She asks her neighbor, "What do you do to get your tomatoes red?"
He replies, "Twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expose myself. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."
The blonde decides to do the same thing. So twice a day for two weeks she exposes herself to the garden. Her neighbor asks, "How did it go? Did you tomatoes turn red?"
"No," she replies, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

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Sunday's Poem

 

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Well it's about it for now except..........................................................................................................

 
                                                           Guy's Burger Joint
I can't wait to enjoy a guy's burger on the Carnival Liberty. Sorry I knew I wouldn't write anything today about my cruise but I was hungry. See ya.

A Gray Saturday

I wonder where they're be placing me & my wife for dinner? No matter, as long as I can eat after a very relaxful day . 

Which of the whirlpools should I choose? Why not both. 

And after a exhausting on the island I'll come back to rest in my balcony. What do you think?

AS you can see, I'm going bonkers just thinking about my up coming cruise on the carnival Liberty. That seems to be all that I can think about. Am I going crazy? 
Today I'm not sure what I'll be doing today. Hopefully, golf will be back on TV. If it is, I'll be watching it. I'm sure that later in the evening, my wife and I will be playing pool. Man is getting great at this game. 
Forget the gray day, the sun just broke from the clouds. It's suppose to be in the 30's today. That's a heat wave compared to what we've had lately. 
Today begins the Detroit Auto Show. Here are some of the fantastic cars that are now being shown.

 I'll keep more Camero

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Saturday's Funnies

After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?"
So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy
that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?"
So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "'Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want
you to make love to Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"'
So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.
And Adam said, "Lord, what is a 'headache'?"

God had just finished creating Adam. God said to him "Adam, I want you to pick out a partner from any of the animals in the garden."

So Adam looked around trying to find a mate. After a few minutes Adam said to God "God, none of these animals will do." So God made a woman for Adam.

Adam looked at the woman and said to God "God, why did you make her so beautiful?"

and God replied "So you will like her Adam."

Adam said, "But God, she is just SO beautiful why is she so beautiful?"

"So you will like her" God replied. Then Adam asked, "But God, why did you make her so stupid?"

God replied "So she will like you."

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That's it for today. I think I over did myself but it's OK, I think. Have a wonderful day my friends. See ya.


There is one extra thing I wanted to put into my blog and this was for Sandee.