Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Rain Is Coming Tuesday


Good morning everyone. It's nice outside at the moment but we 've been told that by noon, it will be wet. Yesterday we had Emily & Cole over for dinner and of course you know what they wanted for dinner, spaghetti & meatballs. which I gave them. After we all went out in the back and played lawn darts and bocce. These two young kids can really play but grandpa still showed them how to play bocce. It was a very enjoyable evening with them. I love having them over.

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Patrick, who was vacationing in the Bahamas couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice. "Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya man... you'll have all the babes ya want!"The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! So he went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "Damn, Mate!" said the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!!"


Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery.

Presently, a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare.

As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: "Good morning father, good morning father." Nodding and addressing each of them individually.

They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?

They went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits and again they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads).

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "good morning father", "good morning father" and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "just a minute young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?"

"Oh father, don't you recognize me? I'm Sister Kathryn!"


Two retired ladies were on the beach in Miami.They were discussing the fact that if they gofor a swim, someone might steal their cigarettes, but if they take the cigarettes with them, theywill get soaked. Then they notice a gorgeous girlwalking out of the ocean. She reaches into the topof her swimsuit, pulls out a perfectly drycigarette and book of matches and lights up. Theladies go up to the girl and ask, "How do you keepyour cigarettes dry?" Her answer, "I put them insideof a condom." The women rush to a pharmacy and ask for acondom. When the pharmacist asks, "What size?" one ofthe ladies says, "It should fit a Camel."
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Past Cruise Photos
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
             Crab towel animal created by our steward, one of many that he created during our cruise.
 
                    Here is Gabriel our steward.He was such a happy guy throughout the cruise.
 
                                                                 Another creation of Gabriel's.
 
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Well I done for the day. I have to go to the pharmacy and pick up more of my pills. I'm so sick and tired of pills but I have to take them since my stroke, years ago ( 37 years ago ). I'm still hanging in there. Ha,ha,ha. Have a gorgeous Tuesday even though it will rain here. The grass is looking a little brown. I guess rain  is needed. 
 
 
                                                                       SEE YA.
 
 

6 comments:

  1. I'll take all that rain if you don't want it. We won't see rain until probably October and that's if we're lucky.

    Spaghetti and meatballs sounds mighty good to me too. Tonight we are taking our granddaughter out for her birthday dinner at Tahoe Joe's. The rest of the family will be there too.

    Loved all the jokes as always.

    The best part of cruising on the big ships is the towel animals. I'll never cruise again, but those towel animals were my favorite thing. Well, I'll cruise on our boat, but not on the big ships anymore.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

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  2. Can I have some Spaghetti & Meatballs please heheh!

    I liked the jokes that last cartoon cracked me up

    Those towels are so cute heheh!

    Have a meatballtastic day Paul :-)

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  3. I will take the rain, Paul, it is pretty humid and hot here. Gabriel looks like a lovely person and one who really enjoys his job! Thanks for the laughs and inspiration!

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  4. Those towel creatures are really fun and must add a few smiles to a cruise.

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  5. I always love the towel creatures they make on a cruise. They are so clever and creative. Also thanks for the laughs, and the good thoughts to start the day.

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  6. Great jokes...and towel animals. I won't get to see real ones until September. Bugger.

    Big hugs, honey...

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Thanks for commenting!