Monday, December 15, 2014

Christmas Time Monday







 Good morning everyone ( Bee & Sandee ). I had a very good football Sunday. My Lions won and they are in first place, 10 - 4 . I'm sorry, I got a little excited. Today I have a doctor's appointment. Nothing bad. A little government difficulties regarding me driving because I have special pedal on my car. After driving 37 years with no accidents nor tickets, I want to have a pedal put on my wife's cars so that I can drive after I put my Cameo in the garage for the winter. People will put the pedal on the car but I need a clearance therefore a two hour test to see if I can drive( even though I've been driving for 37 years ) Idiots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope that my doctor can at least write a note that will state I'm OK to drive ( even though I've been drivving for 37 years ) You get my problem?

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Christmas Quote of the Day



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Santa Claus Monday's Funnies

Follow the Rules

Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. "I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."



All The Benifits

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive after dark!"


"Will I Live To 80?"

I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him," Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?" "Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either." Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?" I said, "No, my other Doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?" "No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?" "No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you want to live to 80."


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One last thing to say for today and that is this................
 
                                The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

 Have a wonderful Monday and we'll see you tomorrow God willing. See ya.



1 comment:

  1. Good morning Paul. I see you're in a mood this morning. About driving your wife's car that is. Idiots indeed. I'm sure it will be fine, but you have to wade through all the red tape anyway. Idiots.

    Loved all the funnies.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!