Birthday Tuesday

Today is my wife Mary Lou's birthday I'm making this a special blog today to a special woman. She has decided for her gifts she's going to the spa with a manicure & pedicure. I make add something special a little late.

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Birthday Words of Wisdom

 

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Birthday Tuesday's Funnies

Her Birthday Surprise

A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.

Birthday Celebration

"Look at ME!!" boasted the fit old man, pounding a very flat and firm stomach, having just finished 100 situps before a group of young people.
"Fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after loose women!!"
He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, "And tomorrow -- tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my -90th- birthday!!"
"Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?"

Diamonds

It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
'Oh, I don't know,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds.'
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

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Past Cruise Photos

                           Here is Mary Lou sitting outside in the Lanai on the Carnival Breeze.

                             This Mary Lou & I with the Captain of the Carnival Liberty

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Finally, tonight our friends Al & Meilin are taking us to dinner tonight for Mary Lou's birthday. After dinner we will be coming back to our home and have birthday cake. Mary Lou received her birthday card this morning and after reading it she inquired if we were going on a cruise? I just said, maybe!!!!!

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                                                                                See ya

Wonderful Monday

I'm a very happy camper this morning. I just took my Camero in to have all the things that it has to done to it for another great season of driving. Last night as I said yesterday, my daughter & her family came over with dinner and celebrated Mary Lou's birthday even though her birthday is tomorrow. They gave her a complete set of Rock pans. They are great but of course whose the one that will be using the pans? ha,ha,ha. 

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Monday's Funnies

A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lungs. "No!" the blonde yelled back, "Scarf!"

Two blondes walking down the street.  One reaches into her pocketbook for a make up compact and looks into the mirror.  "This picture looks like someone I know" she says.  The other one has a look and says, "Of course dummy, it's ME...."

A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and says "Where?"

A blonde, brunette and redhead woman decided to compete in the Breast Stroke division of the English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde finally reached the shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and a drink she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I'm pretty sure those other two girls used their arms.

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Past Cruise Photos

                             Ken the singing Maitre'd with the bouncy doll of John Heald.

                                                      Freddie the Carnival's mascot. 

     On any cruise, they will be taking pictures constantly hoping that you will buy the picture, Each time Mary Lou & I have a good picture taken and we buy it as a souvenir of our cruise. Here's one.

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Well I'm done for now. I'm just waiting for the garage to call to let me know that they are finished and that I could come and pick up my Camero, Bumble Bee.

Have a wonderful Monday everyone See ya.

Palm Sunday

Good morning everyone. Yes, it's Palm Sunday and in a week it will be Easter. We should be having a better week with  higher temperatures. Tomorrow my Camero hits the road. I'm taking it to the garage for its physical. Once it's done I'm ready to go anywhere and everywhere. My wife & I are planning on going on a car trip some where in Ontario this summer. We are looking forward to this. This morning my daughter Nicole called and asked if they could buy dinner for all of us and after celebrate mary Lou's birthay. ( Give her their gifts ). I just happpened to bake a cake last night for Mary Lou's birthday. It will work out well.

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Sunday's Funnies

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

  

Why Eve was created

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

  

A very faithful woman

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME. PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"

The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."

The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me groceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"

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Past Cruise Photos

       On the Lido deck where we could have our lunch, the workers would place some fancy designs with the food. 

      Uncle Marty our conductor on the train and on the bus in Panama. The train took us from Colon to Panama City to the Pacific and back. 

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Have a beautiful Sunday friends. I can't wait for dinner, Chinese food which I enjoy and of course a piece of birthday cake ( Mary Lou's birthday is on Tuesday ) See ya.

Clearly, It's Saturday

Goood morning friends. Still very cold but the sun is bright this morning. We could be coming out of our deep freeze. Next week  from Monday to Friday will be in the 50's and near 60's. Monday I take out my Bumble Bee Camero. Zoom, zoom. I can't wait.Last night was a nice evening with our friends Al & Meilin. After they left I was able to enjoy my show Grimm and watch the news. Why? I have no idea. News today is always bad. In Detroit this woman had two children who it seems were being beaten but then they also noticed that in the freezer they found two bodies of her other two children. Crazy. Life is suppose to be wonderful.

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Saturday's Funnies

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"

  

Beaver Hunting

An 80-year old man walks into the doctor's office for his regular check-up.
The doctor says to him, "Ahh, Ted, how are you feeling?" "Great," says the old man. "I have an 18-year old wife, and she's pregnant with my child." The doctor gives a concerned look and says to Ted, "Ted, let me tell you a story. See, I have this hunter friend and early one morning, he goes out hunting, but is in such a hurry that he grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, as he is hunting, he spots a beaver. He aims at the beaver with his umbrella and shoots at it. Bam! The beaver falls dead to the ground.""What?!" cries the old man. "Why that's impossible! Someone else must have shot the beaver.""Exactly," says the doctor.

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Past Cruise Photos

 

 

                  This was our first dinner group on our first cruise on the Carnival Legend.

                                           Atrium Bar on the Carnival Legend.

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Finally I 'm done today. Sorry for some of the jokes today. My mind is not thinking well this morning. Maybe it's because I haven't had enough SUN & WARMTH. I need heat. I want the cold to get away. Oh well have a wonderful Saturday. See ya.


 

A Waiting For Spring To Really Arrive Friday

Yes,yes,yes, it's Friday for those that are working. For me every day is a Friday or Monday or every day. I'll say it again, I thoroughly enjoyed working as a teacher and being with children and their parents but retirement is the best. 
Tonight Al & Meilin are coming over and you already know what we'll be doing, playing pool, goodies & tea. Yesterday the lawn maintenance guy didn't come and see me. We'll see if he comes today. If not, I'll look for another person. 

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Friday's Funnies

My Wife Is Missing

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"


"Why?"


"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says "I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing, forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick and tired of each other,and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this."
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Easter dinner and paying their own way."

 























A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
A little kid said, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge 'n' Mary.

 A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," she answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

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Past Cruise Photos

                  I took a photo when we arrived at Tortola, the British Virgin Islands

     As you can see, there is much food to enjoy on a cruise. You just to careful because if you aren't, when you try to put on your slacks, they may be tight. I know, & I learned from my first cruise.

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Well that's about it for today. Have a great Friday and enjoy all that life gives you. I do. See ya.