Saturday, May 30, 2015

Sunny But Going To Rain Later Saturday

Good beautiful Saturday morning everyone. Yesterday I went a brought my daughter coffees for her & the workers that are working on the inside of her home. I was amazed of what they are doing. The entire house is gutted and the floors are cleaned out of the old material and later they will have have a brand new inside. Today I hope the new doors should be instilled. I laughed because the children's beds were in the living room until the kids rooms are painted and finished. Of course the grandchildren love the idea of sleeping in the living room. They have the TV. Ha,ha,ha. Their home will lovely when it will be done. Good for them.

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One Monday morning, a mailman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approached one of the homes, Bob, a homeowner, was coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow, Bob, looks like you guys had a hell of a party this weekend," the mailman commented.
Bob replied, "We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over and things got a bit wild. We got so drunk that we started playing 'Who Am I?'"
"How do you play that?" the mailman asked.
Bob continued, "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our units showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughed and said, "I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responded, "Your name was guessed four or five times."




After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent him on his way with a gift envelope.
The family at the second house presented him with a selection of terrific fishing lure. At the third house, he was given a box of fine cigars.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly blonde beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. Taking him by the hand, she gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she presented him with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough, they went downstairs to the kitchen where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sausages, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of fresh roasted coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup.
"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night I told my husband that today would be your final day on the job and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'Screw him, give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea." said the blonde.


THE MAILMAN

The mail carrier had a registered letter that needed a signature for a party on his route. Receiving no response to his knock on the front door, he went around to the back door which he found open, except for the screen door. He knocked. A high pitch voice from inside said, "Come in."

Upon entering the kitchen, he was confronted by the largest German Shepard he had ever seen. The dog bared his fangs menacingly, forcing the mail man against the wall. The mail man shouted, "Lady, call off you dog before he eats me alive."

The only response he got was that same high pitch voice coming from the next room saying, "Come in."

Pressing his body against the wall, he slowly worked his way to the door way leading to the next room. Looking around, he saw the room was empty, except for a parrot in a cage. After the threat from the huge dog, he was becoming quite irate and said to the parrot.

"Darn you, don't you know any words besides 'Come in?"

Without a moments hesitation the parrot responded, "Sic him!"
 
 
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Past Cruise Photos
 
 







                                                                                 Antigua

                                                       Tortola, the British Virgin Islands

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Now that I've completed my post, the sun has disappeared. I guess the clouds are coming in which means the rain is near. Oh well. I saw the sun this morning. Have a wonderful day and...........
 
                                                                         SEE YA.
 

4 comments:

  1. Loved all the jokes. Love mailman jokes a lot.

    Sounds like major work on your daughters house. Way cool. It will be like a new home when it's done. Love that.

    Have a fabulous day and if you don't want that rain you can send it here. ☺

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  2. Looks like your daughters house will look brilliant when it's all finished and worth all the upheaval of it all in the end

    Haha! @ the mailman jokes I see that dog is on strict genital watch LOL

    Lovely view in that last photo

    Have a tanfastic day Paul & thanks for cruising by :-)

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  3. I know that remodel upheaval. We lived in our cabin while remodeling just the kitchen, and that was bad enough! Great mailmen jokes.

    Big hugs, honey...

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  4. Thanks for the laughter, Paul!!! Your last photo is gorgeous and sublime!

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Thanks for commenting!