Friday, June 19, 2015

Good Day Friday



Wow, what a day I had yesterday. After watching the U.S.Open until 11:00 last night I needed a good night sleep which I did receive. Now I'm ready to go aith another good day. This Chambers Bay is an unbelievable golf course. The reason I was watching until 11:00 at night was because the U.S. Open  was in  the Washington state.  I'll probably be 11:00 tonight, Saturday and Sunday. Oh my, four days of watching golf. 

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Stupid Lawyer

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner says, "No." The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" "No." "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?" The corner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."


Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles
on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has
happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love
to
his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars on the lottery,
spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one.
Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken."




Joe is teeing off from the Back Tees. On his downswing
he realizes that his wife Mary is teeing up on the Red Tees
directly in his way. Unable to stop his swing he nails it and
hits her directly in the temple and kills her instantly.
.
A few days later Joe gets a call from the coroner regarding
her autopsy.
.
Coroner: "Joe, your wife seemed to have died from blunt
force trauma to the head. You said you hit a golf ball and
hit her in the temple, is that correct?"
.
Joe: "Yes sir, that's correct"
.
Coroner: "Joe, I also found a golf ball wedged up her butt"
.
Joe: "Was it a Titleist Three?"
.
Coroner: "Yes, it was"
.
Joe: "That was my mulligan"

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Past Cruise Photos
 








                                                               Docked in Cozumel, Mexico.

   This is Brandon, a former student of mine that I taught in grade 6. At that time he was working in a bank in the Cayman Islands. It was amazing that I met him & his wife while on our cruise.
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That will be about it for today. I have to go to Windsor to pick up orthopedic shoes for my sore feet. Hopefully I'll be able to play some golf now. After my wife & I are going to Costco. We are down to just about everything in our fridge. After that it's time to watch some golf. 
 
   
                                                                                 
SEE YA.



6 comments:

  1. Oh, gross---the coroner who brings his work home. Too funny. Took me a minute to 'get' the suitcase in the morgue joke. Poor parents. LOL

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  2. I know nothing about golf so one of those jokes I didn't get. Oh well. Golf is your think, not mine.

    Empress Bee is on her way home. She had a great time as always and her next cruise is in August.

    Have a fabulous day my friend. We are off to the boat this afternoon for the weekend. ☺

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  3. Good to hear your enjoying the golf :-)

    LOL the morgue jokes were dead funny...boom boom

    Nice pics and what a coincidence bumping into a former student

    Have a tanfabulous weekend Paul

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  4. How nice to meet a former student on your cruise, Paul! :)

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  5. Happy Day to you. It is indeed amazing to meet your student and his wife on your cruise. Lovely yellow blooms.

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  6. Thanks for telling me I am amazing today! You always make me smile.

    Big hugs, honey...

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Thanks for commenting!