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Farmer's Daughters Dates
There was this farmer that was really protective of his three daughters.
In fact, he always met their boyfriends at the door with a shotgun.
At 5:30 Friday night, there was a knock at the door. The farmer answered it with his gun. The guy at the door said, "Hello, my name is Eddie, I'm here for Bettie, we're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?".
The farmer paused, then said "Ok, she's ready" .
Another half hour passed and there was another knock. The farmer answered it with his gun again. The guy at the door said" Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show. She ready to go?".
The farmer paused again and said "yeah, she's ready".
A half hour later, there was another knock. The farmer went to the door with his shotgun. The guy at the door said "Hello, my name is Chuck..... " and the farmer shot him.
At 5:30 Friday night, there was a knock at the door. The farmer answered it with his gun. The guy at the door said, "Hello, my name is Eddie, I'm here for Bettie, we're going for spaghetti. Is she ready?".
The farmer paused, then said "Ok, she's ready" .
Another half hour passed and there was another knock. The farmer answered it with his gun again. The guy at the door said" Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show. She ready to go?".
The farmer paused again and said "yeah, she's ready".
A half hour later, there was another knock. The farmer went to the door with his shotgun. The guy at the door said "Hello, my name is Chuck..... " and the farmer shot him.
Do you know how to have sex? (PG)
Man walks up to a farmers house, knocks on the door. When a woman opened
the door, the man ask if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she
slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, again, asked the same
question. Again, not amused, she screamed get the hell away. Later, she
told her husband of the incident. he said he would stay home the
following day just in case.
Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes. The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him , and tell him to keep away from my wife.
Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said yes. The man replied, great, give some to your husband the next time you see him , and tell him to keep away from my wife.
The Farmer's Daughter
A man is driving through the country. Just as it's getting dark his
front left tire goes flat, and he is without a spare. He walks up to
the nearest house and asks to spend the night. The farmer, being a
generous soul, says, "Sure thing, but only on one condition. I'll be
putting you in the same bed as my daughter, but I don't want you
touching her. So I'm going to put a row of eggs between the two of you
to make sure there's no messing about." The man sees no problem with
this, and the farmer treats him to dinner.
The daughter is there, and the man sees that she is the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen. He can't keep his eyes off her, and she can't keep her eyes off him. That night, they make wild passionate love on the bed, breaking eggs and spilling yolk everywhere. In order to fool the farmer, the man and the farmer's daughter come up with a plan. It takes all night, but they manage to get all of the eggs glued back together by sunrise. They then fall asleep, exhausted.
The next morning the farmer wakes them up and collects the eggs. He goes into the kitchen and proceeds to make breakfast. The farmer cracks the first egg... nothing. He cracks the second egg... nothing. By this time the farmer's face is getting red. He cracks a third egg... nothing. In a rage, the farmer gets out his rifle, runs right past the startled man, and shoots the chickens.
The daughter is there, and the man sees that she is the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen. He can't keep his eyes off her, and she can't keep her eyes off him. That night, they make wild passionate love on the bed, breaking eggs and spilling yolk everywhere. In order to fool the farmer, the man and the farmer's daughter come up with a plan. It takes all night, but they manage to get all of the eggs glued back together by sunrise. They then fall asleep, exhausted.
The next morning the farmer wakes them up and collects the eggs. He goes into the kitchen and proceeds to make breakfast. The farmer cracks the first egg... nothing. He cracks the second egg... nothing. By this time the farmer's face is getting red. He cracks a third egg... nothing. In a rage, the farmer gets out his rifle, runs right past the startled man, and shoots the chickens.
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Past Cruise Photos
The Three Amigos Cantina in Cozumal, Mexico
I took a photo after I left my cabin on Deck 8 looking down at the Atrium.
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Guess what? I'm don't. I hope you'll like what I have written down in my post. Enjoy the day my friends.
SEE YA.
Sorry you're getting so much rain. I'll take whatever you don't want. I really will. Also sorry that your pool game wasn't good either. Next time.
ReplyDeleteLoved all the jokes. As always.
Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺
It's been forever since I've heard or read a farmer's daughter joke. Thanks!
ReplyDeletePaul, I am sorry to hear about all the rain you have been getting. We did get some here in Montreal but not a great amount, just enough to freshen things up and cut the humidity. Your animal pics and personal photos are the winners for me today, as well as the old comic book! Seeing the old 10 cent comic book brought back great memories of my childhood. When I was a little girl my father often would purchase the 12 cent comic books for me. My favourites were the Harvey collection (Casper, Little Audrey, etc.) and I spent many happy hours on rainy days and weekends reading and enjoying them. :)
ReplyDeleteOh dear about the rain...nice sunny and warm here see miracles do happen heheh!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear your BBQ turned out OK & laughed at the jokes heheh!
Nice photos especially the Atrium one
Have a wetlesstastic day Paul :-) Try saying that quick 3 times after a few beers
Haha...good farmer jokes. Yep, my bra is still on the inside. Whew!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day. Big hugs, honey...