Wonderful Warm Friday

Gooooooooood Morning everyone. Looking outside my window it is beautiful. Birds are chirping, squirrels running around the lawn people having their everyday walks. I love the summer. Yesterday Dan called that he wasn't able to go for lunch so today we are going but just for coffee. I'm going out for dinner so I don't want to double up my food intake. I'm losing weight again and I want to came it that way.

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    In the past I've dealt with many different people in doing the jokes. Since I'm Italian, I've decided to do the jokes with ITALIANS. 

Italian Mafia

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.

This bookkeeper is deaf.

It was considered an occupational benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back:

"I don't know what you are talking about.

"The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine, " retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella Mississippi."

 

Sophia just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophia. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luigi took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophia ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Sophia", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luigi took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophia ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luigi took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luigi's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luigi took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophia saw this, she ran downstairs.
"Mama, Mama, Luigi's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and stir the pasta", says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"

 

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Past Cruise Photos

                                                        Beautiful sunset taken from my balcony.

        This is at the top of the mountain in St. Thomas. If you look, you can see my ship, the Carnival Valor.

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                        Well I'm ready to go have my coffee with Dan. Have a great day my friends. 

                                                                               SEE YA.