Gooooooood morning ya'll. The sun is out but the clouds are hiding it. It's nice outside this morning. My wife just went for a small walk around Pointe West this morning while I wrote my blog. This morning I'm going to the golf store to pick up a couple of golf gloves and a Callaway cap. I hope Brian calls me soon. I'm excited for my second time out. Later after dinner the three of us will be going over Al's place. We'll probably play some pool. I hope that I won't fall this time. Maybe I'll attached myself to the pool table just to make sure. Ha,ha,ha. I'll be OK.
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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Arctic Hooker
Q: What is a hooker in Alaska called?
A: A frostitute.
Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while getting a rise.
- Whether or not sex is better than pot, depends on the pusher.
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at WalMart anymore either."
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Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while getting a rise.
- Whether or not sex is better than pot, depends on the pusher.
Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.
The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks."
The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.
The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor." "Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?" The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?" "Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's OK," said the young man, "We're not welcome at WalMart anymore either."
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Past Cruise Photos
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Once again I've finally completed my blog for the day. I hope that you enjoy what I've put it. I'm sorry if the sex jokes bother you but I'm a red blooded man. That is what they said when then took out 6 tubes of my blood the last time I went to see my doctor.
Have an exciting Monday my friends.
SEE YA.
I'm glad you're having sunshine in your life again. Way too much rain. We will still take whatever you don't want. Gladly.
ReplyDeleteI loved all the jokes. I'm pretty hard to offend though.
Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺
Sandee, we broke a 75 year record for June where we received a totally of 197.8 mm of rain. That's why my grass & flowers are looking so great. Usually by now the grass should be starting to turn brown and the flowers full of insects and the color gone but not this year.
DeleteSunshine is so nice, Paul, isn't it? I love the inspiration here, and I really need it today, so thank you! Wow, that is a lot of rain, Paul!
ReplyDeleteNice to see your weather has improved, we are hot and humid here even hotter tomorrow and Wednesday 30 degrees and sky high pollen arrrghh! then back to normal towards the end of the week..phew!.
ReplyDeleteLoved the jokes LOL ...frostitute & iPod LMAO
Nice photos also Pual, have a tanfastic day :-)
Haha...no offense taken on the jokes,since I love to laugh. You are always entertaining. My grandkids wear mismatched socks. It's now the fad around here. Why wasn't it a fad when MY kids were small???
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, honey...