Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Moving Towards 80"s Degrees Wednesday

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful Wednesday to you all. Things went well yesterday for my gaughter & wife and me, I was all by myself and was it ever quiet. Ha,ha,ha. Today, well we have to cut the lawn and I plan on going to town later. That's about it today. Very quiet for the day.



What just happened here?

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the soldiers in back to throw things out to make the plane lighter. They throw out a pistol. "Throw out more!" shouts the pilot. So they throw out a rifle. "More!" he cries again. They heave out a missile, and the pilot regains control.

He pulls out of the dive and lands safely at an airport. They get into a jeep and drive off. Pretty soon they meet a boy on the side of the road who's crying. They ask him why he's crying and he says "A pistol hit me on the head!"

They drive more and meet another boy who's crying even harder. Again they ask why and the boy says, "A rifle hit me on the head!"

They apologize and keep driving. They meet a boy on the sidewalk who's laughing hysterically. They ask him, "Kid, what's so funny?" The boy replies, "I sneezed and a house blew up!" 

Blonde goes flying

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way.

After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage.

When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!" 

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.  Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax -- OH MY GOD!" Silence followed and after a few minutes, the Captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilt it in my lap. You should see the front of my pants! A passenger in Coach said, "That's nothing, he should see the back of mine!"



Past Cruise Photos

                                                          Sunset on the Caribbean

     I only had one steward who was a woman and look what she did for us the last night of our cruise.
                                                                       Beautiful. Thank you.


That's it for now everyone. I hope that you enjoy your Wednesday and .....................................

                                                                         SEE YA.


  1. Glad to hear it's nice and warm there will be here for a couple of days too when we get more than one days warm weather our forecasters go mad and call it a heatwave haha! "rolls eyes"...please don't roll them back :-)

    I liked the jokes and the joking pilots LOL

    What a nice gesture from your steward :-)

    Have a lawntastic day Paul :-) ..I love the smell of freshly cut lawns

  2. I am happy to hear the weather is warmer, Paul! It is beginning to warm up here in Montreal as well, and it was cold last night and this morning. :) The jokes made me laugh, I absolutely love the inspiration and your personal photos "take me away" to a calm and beautiful place. Thank you so much for sharing.

  3. Over here it is hot every day. Nice to read and enjoy all the jokes and pictures. I like the gesture by your steward, its pretty!

  4. Warm is good and it's warm here too. I like it. We could use some rain though.

    Loved all the jokes and especially the blonde that turned the fan off because she was cold. Bless her heart

    Have a fabulous day my friend. ☺

  5. Since Dick and I both are pilots, we really love airplane humor. Good ones!

    Big hugs, honey...


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